I Got Nothing

I've had lots to say recently.

Today I have nothing.

I met with the trainer again yesterday. My whole person hurts.

Maybe that's why I have nothing to say.

Books, Books, and More Books!

I would say that the biggest thing my Mother did RIGHT was that she read to my brothers and me constantly. She even recorded herself reading books to us and included a cue for us to turn the page so that when she wasn't available she could still read to us.

That's one of the reasons I'm so crazy about reading. I've always loved it. She instilled that in me. She got me my very first library card when I was tiny. I don't know how old I was but I'm guessing I was the age of my youngest. She would take me to the library at least once a week. I would check out as many as I could carry. Those were the days. As I got older I developed a system. I'm pretty sure I read almost the entire young readers section of the South Hills Library in Jackson, Mississippi. There were even several characters that I read over and over.

This summer I read tons of books. I'm kinda all read out at the moment. But... lately I've been revisiting my childhood. I've begun to check out books that I loved as a child like Pipi Longstocking so I can read them to my girls. They are loving it. I'm also getting ones that have come out since I was a kid that I find humorous. We love Junie B. Jones. She's sassy but hysterical. The other night I was reading some Junie B. to the girls and what she said was so funny I couldn't even finish reading the sentence. I had to laugh it out and then dry my eyes before I could continue. Now when I tell the children to brush their teeth I quote Junie B.'s definition of "Mr. Tooth Decay - If I don't brush my teeth in the morning my breath smells like stink." I've been told they're over that already. I have a feeling I'll be saying that to them for the rest of their lives. :)

A Good Day

Note: This blog is actually not being posted right after I wrote it (my usual MO). I had too much to say the day I wrote it so I decided to write it anyway and post later.

I'm sitting here in my rocking chair (my secondary assigned blog seat). The house is quiet. The girls are asleep. The windows are open and I'm listening to the rain falling outside. It's glorious.

Today was a good day. It was an odd day too.

This morning Hubby Guy took the Little One to gymnastics. (A welcomed change) I decided to take the Big One to the library. Her soccer game was canceled because of the rain. Anyway... we had a nice time hunting down good stuff to read. I'll write yet another post after this one about reading and books. It will also be posted not-right-away like this one. ( I told you I have a lot to say today)

When we got home from the library we ate some lunch. Hubby Guy and the Little One were home too. We had a couple of hours to chill and relax. No one was grouchy, winy, or needy. Everyone was happy and got along (truly unusual).

Hubby Guy left early afternoon to go to his second job. He has this job for a little extra cash. It also gives him a reason to be out of the house. He works at the Best Western in town. He's the only person I've ever known with a PhD to be willing to work menial jobs. He even delivered pizzas before he married me. I think one reason he does it is just to humor himself.

After Hubby Guy left the girls and I went to Walmart (my favorite place) to pick up a few items.
We ran home very shortly and then ran back out to the home of their bio Aunt on their Mom's side. We had never actually been to her house before. We've seen her plenty though. Anyway... she was babysitting the girls' new half sister. She's 5 weeks old. So the girls finally got to meet her.

I have written before about how weird it feels to hang out with their bio family. I'll put in a link again to my favorite post on this topic. Here If you've read it already, skip it. It's just the clearest place I've written about how we feel about it. The circumstances always make it feel like we're starring in a really weird movie about rednecks. Never in my wildest dreams could I make up plot lines that read like our story has been in dealing with the girls' bio family. Eg. Today we went to Bio Aunt's house so the girls could meet their 5 week old half sister for the first time. Bio Aunt was babysitting. It was a safe time for the girls to see the baby and not have to see Bio Mom. We had to be gone before their Bio Mom and Shack-Up-Hunny/Baby Daddy came to pick up the baby after work because we didn't want Bio Mom to know we were even there. I'm not ready to deal with Bio Mom without official backup. That's as much for her safety as it is mine. I still desire to "tear her a new one". Anyway... We (me and Bio Aunt) chatted about whether or not I thought it was OK to show Bio Mom pictures that she had taken of my Big One/ Bio Mom's oldest and the new baby/Bio Mom's youngest. I had to tell her no because I was unsure of what that would do to Bio Mom's mental state. I mean, after all, she does still have a couple of weeks to reopen her appeal. That's just a small sampling of what it's like. It's all just crazy. It's not something you think of having to go through when you adopt a child.

So... after we escaped Bio Aunt's house without detection we ran home to get swim suits and took off for the hotel. One of the perks of Hubby Guy working there is that we can swim whenever we want. So the girls swam for the first time in a while.

We came straight home after that and the children passed out. Even the Big One went to bed because she wanted to. She read for a little bit and turned her own light out. (Amazing!) Usually even if she is hang dog tired she'll still sit in front of the TV until her appointed "bedtime" just on principle.

It was a crazy long and at times strange day but it was a good one.

Owie!

I'm sore.

I volunteered myself to be a client/guinea pig for a Principles of Exercise Testing & Prescription class at the university.

I had my testing done yesterday. They started with height, weight, measurements (scary), and body fat percentage (really, really scary). Then they did a test to determine how fit my heart is. I had to pedal a stationary bike to a metronome while they continued to up the resistance on the bike. That was insane. After that they tested how strong and flexible I am.

I was excited because I appear fat and slovenly but in actuality I'm very strong and fit. I surprised everyone (even myself) with how much weight I can lift.

I am competitive and rise to the occasion when put on the spot so I did really good.

But.... I am very sore and getting worse by the minute it seems. Tomorrow I might not be able to move.

I'm looking forward to the program. I have a student personal trainer assigned to me. Her job for the rest of the semester is to whip me into shape. At the end of the semester we'll redo all the tests and see how good a job she did. If she could get me svelt for the cruise I'm going on in December that would totally rock! She's really sweet. I could tell she was super nervous. She confessed before I left yesterday that she was so excited that her client is in good shape. She says that some of her friends in the program were assigned clients that are big and fat and have never exercised before. She and I hit it off right away. She's on the track team at the university. We are able to relate to one another as athlete and former athlete. That will be cool. Let me be a warning to her little stick figure self that when the training ends the pounds have a way of seeking you out.

So... I get to meet once a week with Skinny Mini and her mission is to train me. I'm really excited about the program. Every time I see that all call I decide I can't do it because it runs during gymnastic season. I decided this year that I would do it anyway. I don't think my workout time is going to conflict with practice times. If it does, oh well.

Organized

Organized - Pronounced (Organ- iz - id)

This is something I aspire to. It's something I pride myself in.

I'm not sure what it is about fall, but it makes me desire a higher level of organization.

My boss and I keep having the same conversation about her office over and over and over again. She's forever troubled by what a pig sty it is. She really likes organization but doesn't have time to keep it that way. I want to help, but so much of what she does is lost on me. Since I only work part-time I don't want to hide all her stuff. And... she's a little OCD about all her tiny pieces of paper with notes on them. She's sweet and OCD but the shoe still fits.

So yesterday at work.... I decided to go for it. I managed to find homes for 2 giant piles of stuff. I found homes for stuff she hasn't touched in forever. And of course.... she texted me looking for her stuff. I picked THE DAY in months that she needed something from a pile.

I just LOVE to organize stuff. I could totally be one of those crazies with their own show on HGTV about cleaning up houses and ridding the clutter. My friend loves me to come over when she's organizing. Purge is my favorite word. I like helping people part with their stuff. I'm fixing to get rid of lots of my stuff too. I'm kinda excited! Weird, I know :)

Rubber Chicken, Stuffed Pig, Calenduuuhhhhh!

This post comes from a completely random place. I wanted to post SOMETHING and currently am lacking inspiration.

I was sitting here in my assigned seat for blogging. It's assigned by myself, but assigned none-the-less. Sometimes I post from somewhere else and it feels all different.

Anyway.... I was looking around at the items that surround this spot. There's a plastic chicken with cymbals. He reminds me of the rubber chicken that I have somewhere that I keep meaning to find.

There's a cute little pink stuffed pig. A friend gave him to me. I have no idea why she gave me a stuffed pig. That makes him funny to me. Random stuffed pigs are laughable, right?

In front of me is one of those bird pens. His body is the pen body, the top has a beak and crazy pink and yellow feathers. He's also wearing big blue sunglasses. His cap is a big yellow bird foot and it has a sucker attached so he can stand upright. His name is Mr. Personality. If I ever took to seriously writing with a pen and paper I would most certainly use him.

I also have a giant calenduuuhhhhh! I call it that because I hate it. I don't like having to keep a schedule. I think I would really deep down like to live a gypsy kind of life. I'd like to wander. The whole stealing to live part is uncool but the wandering part sounds fantastic. My stupid calendar is my accountability. If I get so many things on it that I can't store them comfortably in my brain then life is just too busy. I know people that live and die by their planners. I tried it and hated it. It made me feel too scheduled. I like the notion that I have open options. When I scheduled every minute I felt imprisoned by it. And... I don't want my children to grow up pigeon holed by a schedule. We had the best weekend because our options were open. Friday early evening I changed into my "uniform" (sweatpants & gigantic T-shirt). The girls and I were fixin' to go take our crayons and coloring books and camp out on the trampoline and color. I decided I'd give my BFF a call. After that call we all loaded up and had a great time hanging out at her house. I didn't even have to change out of my uniform. On saturday the oldest out of the blue said "Hey I know, let's go see a movie." It was a spectacular idea and we saw a great movie.

Now don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with having a planner to keep yourself organized. Not everyone wants to mess up available brain space with schedules. I get that. That's why I keep a calendar at all. I want to make sure I don't forget stuff. I just don't want to be a slave to it. I try very hard NOT to fill it up.

Ok... the calenduuuhhhhh part ended up being a bit of a rant. Sorry. It's a risk I took for being random.

But... naming some of the odd items around me got me thinking about that movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. It was a good movie but a sad one. Anyway... I love that kind of imagination. I miss those years of life. Ya know.. those years when I was free to imagine and dream without having to be particularly responsible or adult at all. The times in my life when I get the most restless are when my creativity/imagination is squelched for some reason. I like to think about stuff. I don't want to take myself too seriously.

Update on My Last Post

Ok.... I wimped out... I didn't work out. I was still feeling shaky and chose common sense over the need to feel skinny all day.

Piper Pockets

My question this fine Wednesday morning is this:

Who is that Piper anyway... and what must he do with all his riches?

I determined this morning that sometimes we Pay the Piper when we do good things. I usually think of that particular idiom (Pay the Piper) in the context of poor behavior.

Yesterday I worked out like I always do when the powers that be smile upon my daily schedule. I did an hour of cardio. I normally tolerate that pretty well. It wipes me out, but I feel skinny the rest of the day and that makes it worthwhile. Well.... yesterday I think something weird happened with my blood sugar. I've battled an anemic type condition for my whole life that has defied every test I've ever been given for it. All tests come back normal. When I get hungry it makes me feel bad and resultingly I get REALLY mean! So yesterday after my exercise I felt wiped out as usual but I was also REALLY mean. Moreover... I didn't recover. Even after I ate I was still mean. Poor hubby guy just relinquished the bedroom until bedtime so I could hide in there. I didn't banish him. He just didn't want to be around me. I wasn't being mean to him, but he apparently could feel meanness oozing from my person. The poor Guy was relegated to watching SpongeBob (who we hate) with the kids.

So... I payed the piper for doing something good! How is that fair!?

I feel much better this morning. And... I'm still gonna work out this afternoon.

The whole Paying The Piper thought came to me this morning because the little one had a hard time getting up. She basically had a screaming flailing fit before she ever even got upright. I reminded her that she would feel better and more rested in the morning if when she's put to bed at night she would actually go to sleep. Last night at bedtime apparently she was high on life. After lights out she sang for a little while, talked to anyone who passed through the hallway, got up "to potty" 467 times, etc. I have no idea what time she actually went to sleep. The last time I heard her voice though was 2 hours after her bedtime.

This morning she looked rough. That wake up call came about 2 hours too early. :)

Oh how the Piper's pockets jingle.

On Connections

Yesterday while I was exercising I was mulling over something in my head.

A couple of times recently I've heard people reveal or I've heard stories of people revealing painful things about their lives. I heard a story of a lady who was sharing something serious about something that someone else considered shallow. The other person then picked on her. It was painful and really tore at her heart. At our small group meeting the other night a lady who by looking at her looks happy as a clam revealed all that's going on in her life. The whole room was crying when she was done.

I'm struck with the notion that we really are all "walking wounded". We all have hurts.

I've always been better at having a few really good friends rather than lots of friends that I don't know very well. I think I've finally got a working theory for why that is.

I find transparency refreshing. The trouble with that is that being transparent is difficult. Since the Garden of Eden humanity has been skilled at hiding failures. What's so sad about that is that we don't just hide failures. We hide everything that makes us unique. We fear being identified or singled out.

People connect through commonality. How do we expect to connect when we hide? When I connect superficially the friendship remains superficial. People that I have just jumped in feet first with have ended up being the people that I love and trust the best. I long for those types of relationships. I want to really connect.

I read the statement somewhere recently that "God is in the people business". Our job is to do His will. He wants people to know Him. If we can't be honest and open with people, how can we show people how loving, healing, etc. that God is? In a way we tie His hands.

I'm so grateful that the lady at small group opened up. It really reminded me that as God followers we should be transparent if for no other reason to call attention to how awesome God is. We never know how what we're going through can be used. Our job is to glorify God. Tough times, though difficult, are easy opportunities.

There's so much information floating around in my head on this topic. I haven't articulated much of it or articulated it very well. I feel very strongly about it though.

I was Right!!!!

I knew it was too good to be true.

I saw our doorknob today. We were chatting about timeline. I mentioned not wanting to get the call that the girls are ours while we're on our cruise and out of the country. She looked at me kind of strange. I reminded her that we are going on a cruise for two weeks.

Apparently the 90 days that we were quoted isn't until it's done. Apparently the state has 90 days to finish the adoption home study. After the home study is done they will then submit that and then it takes another 90 days for a judge to hear it.

That all means that the girls won't be ours for another 6 months.

Sometimes I HATE IT when I'm right.

So much for my light at the end of the tunnel.

I Can Hardly Wait....

I can hardly wait 'til I can tell you something that one of MY kids says like "stop saying that because it's ignoring to me" or "why does my nose keep watering?" and post a picture of the cute face that said it.

One of the most bo-bo rules of foster care is that we are not allowed to post their mugs on the internet. I have found one outlet I deem safe such that I ignore that rule. This blog, however, is truly public and I dare not tempt fate. In our situation it's really a bo-bo rule because neither bio parent even has a computer. I'm pretty certain neither one ever searches the internet anywhere or even knows how. And... I mean really.... I don't want to communicate with these people. They did horrible things to MY children. At the same time they did birth them for me so if I had a choice of how for them to see the kids it would be over the internet and far, far away from me.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Early in 2010 I will be an official and 100% legal Mommy to two girls. They will become ours just shy of their 2 year anniversary with us. That'll be cool.

I feel so very many things about all of this. We're waiting through all the legal steps. That part is just ridiculous. I understand it, but it's ridiculous. It'll be cool when it's all over because after all this when they are ours there's nothing ambiguous about it. When it's done it's done. They'll be Lewis girls.

Movie!

We went to see "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" today. It was really good. To me it wasn't AS good as "UP" (See my review here: I'm No Siskel & Ebert) but it definitely gets an A in my book. The reasons why it was rated PG instead of G were obvious. There was only one wirty dord in the whole movie and it was cr**. There were a couple of other elements that it could have done without but they were completely missed by my kids.

1) I am a big monkey fan and the monkey in this movie is definitely not a disappointment. Maybe it's just me, but put a monkey in a film and I generally like it.

2) There was a really sweet message. The characters were great!

3) It really catered to what kids think about stuff. I won't spoil it, but the kissing scene at the end was precious.

4) I laughed out loud a lot. Interestingly enough every time I laughed out loud Oldest Kid laughed at the same time. We have the same sense of humor. I like that. My sense of humor is truly odd and it's really nice to have someone to share it with.

There ya go. That's my opinion. Don't say I never gave ya anything.

The Best Stuff Ever!

So... Hubby Guy has made a shameless plea to be included in my list. He's got his bottom lip stuck out pretty far. Poor Guy!

The truth is that my Hubby Guy doesn't go in this list. He has his own very special place. It's a place exalted above even Ravioli in a can. I love him the best of all. My Best Stuff Ever list is stuff that's good for the general population. My Hubby Guy is mine and I'm not sharing.

But.... something that CAN be included in the list is wonderful hubby guys!

Let me tell you about mine.

He's the most consistent person I know. I didn't know him when he was a kid but according to pictures he was the same fun loving hunk of a guy I know today.

Everybody says he's funny. (Except me... I'm here to keep him from getting a big head)

He's terribly mischievous but has a heart of gold. He likes to stir things up to keep life interesting. I know the truth, though. He's mostly bark and not a lot of bite.In a crowd of people he holds his own really well He's the more social one of the two of us. He can talk to anyone anywhere.

He's a manly man that knows how to fix stuff. He may not be really happy with me or the child
for breaking whatever it is that he's having to put back together, but he knows how to fix it. :) (Secretly I think he likes it when we break stuff. It gives him a reason to go to Lowe's!)

He definitely DOES NOT drive a cute truck. He drives a manly man truck that's good for haulin' stuff. He totally needs a bumper sticker that says "Yes, this is my truck. No, I will not help you move." (He would still help people move, though. He's that kind of guy)

He's the first person I ever met who has a PhD (Chemistry) yet doesn't have a stick placed firmly up his posterior. I have met several since him as I work with spectacular highly educated people, but he was the first. His brains are sexy. I could sit and blink at him while he says lots of chemistry stuff that goes over my head all day. I love to watch him in his lab. Since I've known him I've built up a whole layman's vocabulary for what he does (eg. Run a column = drip stuff into a thingy). I've also named several of the pieces of equipment he uses in the lab (Mass Spectrometer = Sniffer). It's great fun.

He loves animals. If it were up to him we'd live on a farm and every square inch of it would be covered in animals. Right now we have 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a rabbit. I have to hold him back when we're in PetSmart. He's forever wanting to adopt animals that he finds there. We have the rabbit because Hubby Guy saw him in Tractor Supply Company and had to have him. (And... I'm a pushover!) When he looks at me with his gorgeous brown eyes and says "Can I have him?" I just can't resist.

Best of all.... he loves me. He rescued me and whisked me away on his white horse (actually it WAS a white truck). He treats me like a princess and is oh so good to me. One day he's even gonna buy me a castle too (aren't ya Hubby Guy?... hee-hee). He puts up with all of my wierdness and hasn't run screaming from the house... yet.

And lastly..... he's "kersplatted for years!" What more could a girl ask for?!

The Best Stuff Ever!

Best Friends! Definitely some of the best stuff ever.

This picture is of me and my BFF 17 years ago. We were just babies but felt so grown up. We were camp counselors together for two summers. That picture was taken the first summer ('92). We worked at a little camp called The Master's Inn in Altavista, VA. We have LOTS of stories!

The picture at the top was taken February 2004 (12 years later). It was taken the night that I met my now Hubby Guy. She set us up long distance. I was living in FL and he was living in VA. I came to VA for a visit and she and her husband went on a double date with us. (That's the short version of that story) I married Hubby Guy and now me and my BFF live in the same town. How clever of her was that? That was more than 5 years ago. I don't have any more recent pictures. I have pictures of her and she has pictures of me but I don't think one exists that's of both of us.

There is just nothing better than having long time friends. In our younger, basically responsibility free days, we were mostly inseparable. She described our time together as "living life while conducting an ongoing conversation with one another". That's such a perfect description. We both miss those days. Now we each have a Hubby Guy to consider. We also both have children. Life just isn't as simple as it once was. The fact remains, though, we have each other's backs. There's no other friend that I would rather hang out with. We have so much history that we can communicate without words.

I also want to add that secondary to long time friends, girl friends in general are some of the best stuff ever. I love my friends, new and old. I am especially blessed to have the friends that I have. I would post their pictures and name them all but they might not appreciate it. They know who they are.

SICKO!

So... Oldest kid never gets sick. Or... never got sick... until now. She caught what we believed was her sister's cold. Her sister is almost always a little snot beast. She has terrible allergies and on top of that catches everything that comes along. It's a good thing she's a good sick person or I'd have to bury her in the backyard.

Oldest Kid, however, continued to get sicker and sicker. It seemed that her sinking spells were perfectly timed when we were around those grotesque overly empathetic people who fawned over her every sniffle. So, we were really unsure of the severity of said disease as it waxed and waned a bit.

Well, said child was taken to the MD yesterday. She has walking pneumonia. This is day two of missing school. She's happy as a clam now. She's not gonna be happy tomorrow when she goes back to school and sees the pile of work she has to catch up on.

This illness has very poor timing. She managed to score an audition spot for the fall play. The doctor said she can return to school 24 hours after the fever is gone and went on to say likely wednesday or thursday. This morning her fever was below 100. I'm gonna say that counts. We're gonna cross our fingers for wednesday. If she doesn't have an opportunity to try out for the play it will ruin her semester. She will indeed be a very sad person.

Her mood is much better today. I can tell she's feeling better. I'm having a hard time keeping her on the couch. And, her appetite is back. These are all good signs. Tomorrow will be day three of antibiotics so she should be good to go. :)

In The Night

I totally agree with Van Gogh. I love being outside at night.

Last night I spent some time out on the back porch. The dogs were out for their evening constitutional.

Being outside at night creates in me a longing. There's a crispness about the night. I love the bug noise! To me, it's the music of transparency. It's inspiration for openness. It makes me want to be sitting out in the woods listening to an acoustic guitar accompany some sort of spur of the moment story.

I can name several very vivid memories of things that happened outside at night in my lifetime. Most of them are very dear memories. I really love it. I love breathing the clean air. I love looking at stars. I love wrapping up in a soft blanket and quieting myself to listen to all of nature's noise.

I resolve to myself every time I find myself outdoors in the evening that I will be more intentional about getting myself outdoors in the evening. Sounds simple doesn't it?

It seems like much is said about darkness or how lots of crime happens at night. From early in life we learn that when it gets dark out it's time to come in.

Sometimes I wonder. Is the evening something that Satan has stolen from us by corrupting it and making us afraid? Or, is it simply that modern convenience has driven us inside to things that hold our attentions better?

All I know is that I miss the evening splendor of God's creation regularly and I'm saddened by that notion.

1:00am

Update

The sleepover was a success.

I went to bed at 3:00 this morning. Woo Hoo! I'm a little giddy for lack of sleep right now and soon will turn in for the night.

We ended up only having 2 spend the night (kinda). We had three guests. One came very late. Her mom said she couldn't spend the night because she doesn't know me (cool). She said her kid could stay 'til 11:00. At 11 the kid called and her mom said she could stay 'til midnight. At midnight her mom texted her saying she was on her way. Then the next text said she wasn't. Finally at 1:30am I declared bedtime. It took the goons a half hour to stop giggling. At 2:30am the girl's mom woke her up saying that she was outside. All the goons then helped her get her stuff together and go out to the car. They then had to resettle. The house was finally quiet at 3:00am. Fun, huh?

I REALLY want to post a picture of the girls playing with FLARP at 1:00am. It's gonna have the face of Oldest Kid (which is a foster care no, no). It's just too funny though. Ya have to see it. I haven't downloaded my camera so it'll have to be in another post. Oldest Kid got a can of FLARP from one of her friends. It's a very funny substance. They did all kinds of crazy stuff with it. Oldest Kid found out the hard way that it doesn't come off of ceilings very well. She got charged a service fee by Hubby Guy this morning who had to clean the ceiling and repaint. Oopsie!

IN OTHER NEWS: We managed to make it to Oldest Kid's first soccer game at 9:00am. I thought for sure she would be too tired to play. I was surprised to see that the coach played her most of the game and she's also a mighty fine defensive player. She made several really good saves. I'm a proud soccer mom. If she doesn't play at least that good next week then I'm gonna be forced to make her stay up really late on friday nights so she's tired enough to play well. :)

Coming Tonight to a House Near Us... Oh Wait a minute... I mean Our House

SHOWING TONIGHT!

Ebert & Roeper have dubbed it the the longshot smash hit of the fall season.

11 Year Old Sleepover!

Synopsis: The oldest Lewis daughter turns 11 on Sunday. Friday night, though, is time to party! The besties have been invited. It'll be a mish mash of social circles guaranteed to clash. Tune in to watch the sugar induced drama play out. It's guaranteed to be a roof raiser!

Cast:
Cool Party Mom - Stephanie Lewis
Fun Governor - Hubby Guy
Birthday Girl - Oldest Kid
Party Guest # 1 - Girl that Cool Party Mom doesn't like and who Oldest Kid wanted to uninvite
Party Guest # 2 - Oldest Kid's long time best friend from former life who is fiercely loyal and possessive of Oldest Kid
Party Guest # 3 - Sweet girl from down the street who has a love hate relationship with Party Guest # 1
Party Guest # 4 - Oldest Kid's new friend who was also adopted out of an abusive home and who doesn't like Party Guest # 5
Party Guest # 5 - Kid that Oldest Kid met at a camp this summer but who doesn't like Party Guest # 4.

The Best Stuff Ever!

OK.....
In my never ending quest to bring to you The Best Stuff Ever...
Here's something that just can't be left out!

Puppies and Kittens!!!!

There is just nothing more precious than sweet little snuggly puppies and kittens.

I just can hardly restrain myself around them! I want to kiss their sweet little cheeks and pet their soft fur.

I was told by Hubby Guy once that the word "cute" only applies to four legged creatures with fuzz. (As I would say stuff like... "We live in a cute little house but I want a bigger one." or "He drives a cute little truck.") So according to him, this would be an appropriate use of the word.

Puppies and Kittens are just so CUTE

If I could just figure out a way for them to stay little forever, I would be known as the Puppy and Kitten lady. I would have tons of them. I would not be married or have children. I would just surround myself with precious little warm fuzzies!

And the world would be a better place. Everyone would love each other and get along.

World peace would be achieved.

It would all be because of the overwhelming cuteness of a bunch of Puppies & Kittens!

Morning Pimples and News

Every morning my job is to wake up my little one and usher her through her morning routine. Last school year I would sing my silly song (top secret) or simply say "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!" a couple of times and she rolled right out of a bed a little happy person.

Something has happened.

She turning into her sister. (Who requires a water bazooka and a giant spatula to scrape her out of bed)

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey" doesn't work anymore. I'm having to tack on "Wakey, wakey, wake, eat a piece of chocolate cake. " I'm strongly suspicious that by the end of the school year I will have composed an entire poem to recite to her every morning and still have to resort to the water bazooka and giant spatula. This is not good, indeed, not good!

This morning after reciting BOTH lines of the poem the little one rolled out. She went straight to the mirror and stared intently into it. I was intrigued and asked what she was looking at. She replied, "My pimples!". I then said, "You're 6 years old, you don't have pimples." She then said, "Yes I do, they're black and they're in my eyes." I said, "Do you mean pupils?" She looked right at me with her head cocked to the side and said, "Pupils" and walked into the bathroom.

I don't know about you, but that cracks me up. She is such a funny kid. I think that's the thing that has kept me from burying her in the backyard. She's such a punk a lot of the time. When she says funny things it totally redeems her. The same is true on some level with her sister. See "thermostat"

OK.. so as I was writing this post I got a call from our doorknob (a.k.a. social worker). Apparently bio mom has dropped her appeal. This is good news. It means that in ~ 30 days we will sign adoption placement orders.

It is good news. I, however, am not excited. We were at this place back in July. Bio mom then changed her mind. Little analogy: you know how when you stretch the stretchy thing really far over and over it looses it's stretchy. That's how I feel. I no longer have the capacity to get all excited. I won't believe it until the girls are legally mine.

I don't mean to be a killjoy. I give you permission to be super excited for our family. It's just emotionally draining for me whenever I get news. I was looking forward to court tomorrow to hear it all again and have yet another judge tell her it's over. That would have been more concrete for me.

Rain

This is what it looks like outside this morning. It's pouring liquid sunshine everywhere!

Rain always puts me in an odd mood. Truth be told.. my mood is still a little sore from the workout it got yesterday.

When I think of rain the first thing that comes to mind is 1998 in Daytona Beach, Florida. That was the year that so many acres burned. It was the grossest thing to live through. I really feel for those people out in California that endure it so often. I made a promise to myself in 1998. I promised myself that I would never again be ungrateful for rain. I will never forget the overpowering smell of smoke. I'll never forget the ash falling everywhere. The Silver Whining
has a post about that very thing. She's living through it right now. I bet right about now she'd be really grateful to see the rain that I'm seeing.

The second thing I think when I see it's raining is about how I can't wait to go outside and smell it. I LOVE the smell of rain. I really, really LOVE the smell immediately after the rain stops. I'm not talking about the tarry smell of blacktop at Disney after the rain (as it rains EVERY SINGLE TIME I go there). I'm talking about the grassy/treeish clean smell. It's a much better smell out someplace in the country. When I smell that smell I totally hear that scene in The Sound of Music where Maria is singing the theme song. I can picture her running around on that mountain top singing "the hills are alive with the sound of music". Granted, that scene has absolutely nothing to do with rain. There's just a freshness to it. It's carefree and clean. You really have to get in my head to understand the nuances of it. Just trust me... it's good.

Another thing I love, love about rain is all the running water. That's a really cool thing I appreciate now that I live in Virginia. In the flat places I've lived (Mississippi and Florida) water really only flows in rain gutters along the street and in rivers/streams. In the mountainous regions, I've discovered, when it rains water flows everywhere, in yards, across streets, etc. When it's raining hard the world is turned into a flowing river. I'm VERY partial to flowing water. So.... it's gorgeous to me.

I said rain puts me in an odd mood. It's true. I think the reason is this: Rain symbolizes renewal for me. Symbolically it washes away what was and starts everything fresh. In the fall, especially, when the sun comes back out and is accompanied by a fresh crisp breeze I am flooded with emotion. It's like in those moments God reminds me that He's still with me. He reminds me of what was and what is. He reminds me not to dwell in or on the past.

ALL of that happens in my head when it rains. I giggle to see it all written down. To my friend who has wondered about the odd expression I have sometimes: here's another example of what could be happening. It takes lots of energy to do all that in my head. :) I've got no energy left for my face!

The Joy of Parenting

My oldest has a friend that I positively CAN'T STAND!!!!! I don't like her...not one little bit.

I've hung out with her mother enough that I feel safe for my kid to play over there(she lives on our street). She says my kid is respectful and no trouble when she's over there.

Her kid, though... another story.

When she is here at my house my kid's attitude heads south. She gets all nasty and disrespectful. She treats her sister horribly. She gets all full of herself. She disregards house rules. When the two of them are together there is unrest in the house and ultimately there's trouble.

At school this particular kid stirs up drama. She is forever starting stuff between people. She isn't happy unless she has pitted people against each other. In my house it's my two girls.

I'm sick to death of it.

Here's my quandry......

I want desperately to not allow my kid to play with her. I want to just forbid it and be done with it. I've had several conversations with my kid. She knows I don't like her friend and she knows why. We've had lots of conversations about the trouble I have with this kid. We've had good conversations about how to be a good friend. We've had conversations about who is real friend and who isn't.

Because of the traumatic childhood my kid had before she came to be mine, she has some really unhealthy aspects about her. One of those things is that she will pledge her friendship to ANYONE who shows her attention. As she gets older, if this isn't dealt with now, this will become a very bad problem. This friend will eventually hurt her bad enough that all I've said will make sense. If I just end the friendship my kid will resent me and ultimately miss out on a lot of painful moments that will ultimately teach her valuable lessons. I think I would rather her learn this way. As she ages the stakes get higher.

I was sitting in my room stewing this afternoon. I was mad at how my afternoon had gone because that horrible brat was in my house. They ultimately drove the little one screaming over the edge and she got put down for a nap. It wasn't fair. The little one made her share of poor decisions. She was driven to it though and even though I made her take a nap I was on her side. After the little one was peacefully sleeping, I was listening/eavesdropping to the two big ones playing baby dolls and laughing hysterically while eating raisins. I really spent some time considering how I was at that age. I remember time I spent with my best friend. We were crazy. We were forever laughing at something and generally acting like goons. It occurred to me that apart from the disrespect, house rules, and sibling treatment issues they sounded exactly like Linda and me.

I don't want to rob my kid of being a kid, but I can't stand her friend. I want my kid to learn to navigate the minefield that is friend picking. I fear that if I micromanage and shut down this friendship that I will pay a price later. If I can tough it out with her through this friendship perhaps she'll let me continue to be part of the process.

Another thing too... my kid has suffered a lot of sudden loss just by virtue of coming into foster care. She woke up one morning at home, life as usual. She was picked up at school that afternoon by the state and she never went home again. She's old enough to kinda understand why. She's not old enough, however, to really understand it. She and I talk a lot about that. One of the biggest problems she has with life in general is that too many decisions have been made for her. As adults we have the big picture. Do you remember being 10? I do. I really felt grown. She does too. She harbors a heck of a lot of resentment and I totally understand that. The last thing I want to do is make a power play and get rid of a friend. I really don't think that's the way to go.

I'm certain that after the way today went my oldest and I will be having yet another conversation about this friend.

MORE house rules will be set for when that kid is here. (Seems like we set a couple new ones every time she's over)

I'm irritated. I think life now for my kids should be all sunshine all the time. That's what they deserve! Life for them was dark, dark, dark before. They endured enough dysfunction to last several lifetimes. It pains me that they still have to endure life's hardships. They do though...
and my job as parent is to wisely guide them through it.

Hijacked!

Hi! My name is Churchill. Most of the time though, no one calls me that. My people call me Church Dawg, Churchy, or Church Dork. I am 7 years old and I'm a yellow Lab. My Mama says that she doesn't like me, but I know that's not true. My Mama says I'm dumb as a rock but that's simply not true either. I am very smart and universally adored. I am also the coolest of all the Lewis dogs.

I have the best personality by far. Wiley (he's a Cocker Spaniel) is old as the hills. He likes everyone "a little too much" sometimes. And.. he barks A LOT! He barks every time the little girls start to giggle. It's really annoying. I don't bark much. I even like kids. I don't mind if they're noisy. And Mishka (she's an Aussie Shepherd)... she's really neurotic. Everybody thinks she's pretty and wants to pet her. She runs away and barks when they try. I love lots of petting. In fact, I like to sit right in my Daddy's lap. I would sit in my Mama's lap but she won't let me. She's always telling me not to get in "her space". She will only pet me if I go up to her nice and gentle and sit down in front of her. She tells me that's called "Gentle Giant" and she likes it very much. When I do that she pets my face and twists my ears and it feels really good.

I am also very funny. The next picture is my Mama's very favorite picture of me. I was contemplating the tennis ball. I don't know why. I was just in that kind of mood. Sometimes I'll dig around in my toy box and pull out as many things I can get in one mouthfull. I always get laughs for that one. Sometimes, too, when I get really excited I spin in circles. The people all think that's really funny.


Well.... that's all I've got. Hopefully Mama won't be upset that I hijacked her blog. I didn't say too many bad things about her. After all... I love my Mama.

The Best Stuff Ever!

This one is from my best season ever. It was taken on my Granny's front sidewalk. Me and a teammate were goofing off and taking cheesy pictures. Don't ya just love the outfit? It had been cold outside and that day was hot! We made an unplanned stop at my Grandmother's house on the way home (Jackson, MS) from a meet in Birmingham, AL. I wasn't prepared for the weather so I borrowed clothes from my granny.

This one is from after college when I was coaching a team in Florida. The other coach and I played whenever we could. We used to do what we could still do while the team was taking breaks. We called it "Fat People's Gymnastics". I miss those days.

Here's a teeny one I copied off of Facebook. It's me spotting a fly away last season. I say spotting. Really I was just there for moral support. She can do the skill. Sometimes they just need to know someone is standing there who could save their life if it all of the sudden needs saving :) I still coach at the local high school. I just can't seem to wander away from the sport for good. It's almost high school gymnastics season and I can hardly wait!

In case you're not already sick of this particular subject, here's a cool gymnastics montage for your viewing pleasure.

If A Movie Was Made About Me......

.... I would want the part of me to be played by Joan Cusack. She is THE actress that I believe could capture and portray the truth of me.

She really is an amazing talent. I don't know anything about her personally other than who a couple of her siblings are. I don't know anything about her belief systems of her politics. I don't want to know. I don't want that to color any characters I see her play. She's a quirky genius and I'm a big fan.

Nightmare Both Literally and Figuratively

Foster care really has its good points and bad points.

There are several big ticket items that weigh heavily on the heart and brain of a foster/adoptive parent.

Last night all night I had THE nightmare. I say THE because this particular nightmare embodies one of my worst *fears* for a lack of a better word.

I dreamt that our family (Hubby Guy, Me, Big One and Little One) were on vacation. The vacation happened to be to the camp where I worked as a teenager. That's significant because it's a place near and dear to my heart for many reasons and in this dream I was there with my complete family. (~~ warm fuzzies~~) This dream was in the context of the adoption being final and the girls were "official" Lewis girls. (Perhaps brought on by the fact that I saw Big One's school notebooks yesterday and the name she wrote on them is **** Lewis. Isn't that precious?) Anyway... when we first got to the camp we encountered their Bio mother. She was smoking and holding her newborn. She was acting all motherly toward the infant. It made my stomach turn. She then spotted our family. She started following us everywhere we went like to the point of stalking. It got to the point where we were running from her. The girls were petrified and crying. We were weaving in and out of stuff frantically and could not get away from her.

The dream went on forever but I eventually startled awake by what sounded like someone frantically pounding on our front door. I was paralyzed with fear. It went on for a few minutes. Ultimately it was the dog itching himself and knocking into the air intake. I was terrified though. So I went from dreaming a horrible dream just to wake up and be terrified in real life. Part of me knew that if someone were really pounding on the door (or even standing near the door) the dogs would be crazy barking. I was in a sleepy stupor though and couldn't put all that together.

Needless to say.... I'm sleepy today.

The Best Stuff Ever!

Blog worthy subjects are hard to find. I've decided to begin a series. I'm going to share with you some of my favorite things. Feel free to share with me yours. I'm sure there's all kinds of great stuff out there just waitin' for a shout out.

Don't worry it's not raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles or warm woolen mittens as those are Maria's favorite things.

AND... I will intersperse my regular posts about *this and that* in between.

Let's begin...

Posting any other item first would be an injustice to myself and a slap in the face to my most favorite thing. This thing has been with me through thick and thin and has been present in EVERY phase in my life. It has comforted me in the bad times and helped me celebrate all the good stuff.

Introducing......

Chef Boyardee Ravioli in a can! (Insert raucous applause)

In particular, the Mini Ravioli's are the best of the brand. They are also best eaten with the type of long skinny spoon generally used to stir iced tea. I would love to explain why this is so. I just don't know. You can eat Ravioli with other types of utensils but in my humble opinion it's just not as good that way.

Ravioli is a versatile food. It can be eaten cold or hot. It can be eaten in a paper bowl or fine china. Side items that go great with Ravioli are endless.

AND... apparently it has vegetables in it! What more can you ask for? (Don't answer that.. you'll hurt my feelings)

Sheep Are Funny

Sorry, no analogy today. I declare it "Superficial Day".

I'm in love with this cartoon. It really strikes my funny bone. I'm not sure what about it I find so funny. I just do.

Every morning after the youngest leaves for the bus I watch an episode before I go to work. They're only about 3 minutes so it's not an excessive indulgence. I'm happier after seeing it.

I figured I'd share some with ya.

It's a Skip-It Life

If you've ever tried a Skip-It you will understand the concept I'm about to describe.

Although what Forrest Gump's mama always said (Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.) is definitely appropriate. I'm gonna throw another euphemism on the pile.

I feel that living life is very similar to playing with a Skip-It.

The basic concept of a Skip-It is with the contraption parallel to the ground you stick one foot/ankle into the circle. You then swing the long part/wheel end around in a circle and hop over it with the other leg each time it comes around.

It truly is an exercise in humility.

It's frustrating.

I worked with a physical therapist once who described walking simply as "controlled falling". If you think about that, he's right. I submit to you that working a Skip-It is simply "controlled tripping".

The other day I was pondering my existence and likened it to spinning plates. I like this analogy better.

The thing that always strikes me about watching someone work a Skip-It is that even when they are an expert at it they look like a dork. My point is that life is messy. It has lots of moving parts. It isn't designed to be pretty and streamlined. Life is designed to remind us constantly of our need for Christ.

Yesterday I got my feelings hurt. For a few minutes "I tripped my Skip-It". I had to rally and re-start.

In my minds eye this morning I can easily see a community/nation/planet of people all hopping around messily on our Skip-Its. We hop around fighting gravity or figuratively the pull of "the world".

This thought comes to mind. The truth of our lives lies in what happens when we "Trip our Skip-It". Too many times I've been guilty of throwing my Skip-It over my shoulder and going home. My littlest gets so frustrated when she tries something a couple times and doesn't master it. She always says "I cain't do it!!" and pokes out her bottom lip. It's pitiful but I get it. I understand that feeling wholeheartedly.

Yesterday I was reading in Proverbs about wisdom. The commentary I read said "Wisdom is knowledge rightly applied." Much of the first 2 chapters of Proverbs deal with contrasting wisdom and foolishness. It talks about deciding to seek God's wisdom and how it will help us live in a world of callus and cold Skip-It trippers.

We get our feelings hurt. Bad stuff happens. We endure stress from everywhere. We that know the Lord, however, have uncommon strength. When we seek His wisdom and store it as treasure in our hearts we can be Skip-It champions...... Messy, awkward Skip-It champions...... and when our Skip-It gets tripped........we rally and re-start..... no worse for the wear.