Nightmare Both Literally and Figuratively

Foster care really has its good points and bad points.

There are several big ticket items that weigh heavily on the heart and brain of a foster/adoptive parent.

Last night all night I had THE nightmare. I say THE because this particular nightmare embodies one of my worst *fears* for a lack of a better word.

I dreamt that our family (Hubby Guy, Me, Big One and Little One) were on vacation. The vacation happened to be to the camp where I worked as a teenager. That's significant because it's a place near and dear to my heart for many reasons and in this dream I was there with my complete family. (~~ warm fuzzies~~) This dream was in the context of the adoption being final and the girls were "official" Lewis girls. (Perhaps brought on by the fact that I saw Big One's school notebooks yesterday and the name she wrote on them is **** Lewis. Isn't that precious?) Anyway... when we first got to the camp we encountered their Bio mother. She was smoking and holding her newborn. She was acting all motherly toward the infant. It made my stomach turn. She then spotted our family. She started following us everywhere we went like to the point of stalking. It got to the point where we were running from her. The girls were petrified and crying. We were weaving in and out of stuff frantically and could not get away from her.

The dream went on forever but I eventually startled awake by what sounded like someone frantically pounding on our front door. I was paralyzed with fear. It went on for a few minutes. Ultimately it was the dog itching himself and knocking into the air intake. I was terrified though. So I went from dreaming a horrible dream just to wake up and be terrified in real life. Part of me knew that if someone were really pounding on the door (or even standing near the door) the dogs would be crazy barking. I was in a sleepy stupor though and couldn't put all that together.

Needless to say.... I'm sleepy today.