Every now and then I remember that I didn't birth my children.
On occasion things happen that put me squarely in that place that makes me feel like I'm living in a Lifetime movie.
For whatever reason, last night my oldest decided to share a secret. After more than 2 years with me, she has finally opened a dialogue about something that happened in her life 4 years ago. It felt very cool that she trusted me enough to tell me.
Witnessing her sheer terror and listening to what she's feeling about what happened made me REALLY angry. Knowing that I couldn't hold her tight enough or say enough soothing things to make her pain go away was a really helpless feeling. There are people in our community walking around free that are responsible for my child's pain. It's just wrong.
BUT... something she said was SO COOL. She spoke some about why she doesn't talk about it. She said one of the biggest reasons why she felt like she didn't need to hold onto it anymore was because she felt like God was telling her to get rid of it. How cool is that? To witness Christ moving in your child's life is AWESOME!!!
Our adoption should be complete in 20 days. It will be a beautiful day. What I'm hoping and praying, though, is that it will be the first day of the rest of their lives. They've been with us for more than 2 years. That day, though, they will be fully ours. I really hope that gives them some peace. I hope it will be a catalyst that helps them want to tear down some walls. There's still so much that they just won't talk about.
Heaven only knows how many backsides I'm gonna want to kick when it's all said and done.
Just as I finished reading this, the Eagles song came on:
ReplyDeleteSomebody's gonna hurt someone, before the night is through..
I've known you a long, long time as a laid-back peaceful person. Yet I have no doubt in my mind that if given just the right circumstances, and no one would ever know, you would open up a serious can of disaster on some certain people.
That wrath is just another aspect of parenting that comes with the package, whether you birth em or not. People who wish to stay safe should not mess with a Mama bear's cubs.
Most Mama bears, that is.
I didn't even hear her story and it makes me want to kick backsides too. I'm praising God with you that He can heal the pain that she feels.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait til the adoption is final!