I Think I've Decided...

I think I've made a life decision. BUT... I reserve the right to change my mind.

Since I was a child I've wanted to be a writer. Actually, when I was really little I wanted to be a librarian. That morphed though into wanting to be the writer of the books rather than the cataloger.

I've been kinda tortured by the idea of writing. I know I'm creative. I've just never successfully written anything. When I try I fail. The truth is the only things I write really well are personal letters and the occasional written explanation of how I feel about stuff.

I've been told for years by multiple people that I should write. The three recurring genre recommendations are children's books, thoughts of the day, and a memoir about foster care. I've thought a lot too about writing down in gory detail the events of my life. I love it when people like what I write. When I get compliments I feel SO GOOD about myself. BUT, I've taken all that in and rolled it together with my own dream of writing and the notion that my father is a published author and I've turned it into a pressure filled expectation. I've done that to myself.

I've decided to let myself off the hook. I'm done being tortured by the expectation. I don't expect myself to ever write anything for public consumption other than this blog. I don't think I have IT. I don't have the set of skills I need to pull it off. I get really frustrated when I try to develop an idea past a few paragraphs.

So, I will continue to write about everything and nothing right here. And... if I never write or sell anything I will be ok with that.

Ahhhh... I feel better.