Laughter

I just silently laughed so hard I almost hurt myself. I did, however, manage to stifle all guffaws such that my coworkers didn't know I was up to mischief. I was reading a blog that squarely goes into the category "Darn Funny". I will definitely go back later when I can "hoot" out loud such that I don't blow a gasket.

Today is the last visit with our kids bio-mom. I can't wait until tomorrow when the nightmare is over. It promises to be difficult. We get the great honor or meeting with her first so she can beg us to let her to continue to see her children. I've sworn to silence and Scott has taken the speaking role. That is definitely for the best. Hopefully she won't push to the point where he has to tell her how we really feel.

This journey has been difficult. It's very hard to want two opposing things. In my heart I really wanted my girls' mom to get her life straight and fight for her children. I knew all along that if she did that I would lose my children. She didn't and they're gonna be mine forever. I should be grateful but right now I'm angry for them. I've livid that she didn't fight for her children. That will go with them forever. We can offer those girls so much more than she ever could, but they love their mom and one of these days it's gonna sink it that she didn't love them enough to do anything to get them back. It stings now, but it's really gonna sting when they are old enough to fully understand it.

I laughed hard this morning. I hope it's enough to counteract what I'll feel this afternoon.