Thank you Snarky Mom for posting some of these.Perusing www.wrongcards.com has really helped me get in touch with my inner cynic. That's a positive thing really. For so long I've kept my mouth shut and played nice while "the-powers-that-be" rule my life. I'm SO fed up with government agencies dictating my daily life. It will be SO GOOD when it is over. At the end of this I will have either have two kids with whom I can be haphazard and spur of the moment OR I will have none. At this point either seems almost fine. Right now I'm at the point where I feel like saying... "Don't even mention all the children waiting for adoption. Governments are idiots. The case workers I've worked with HAVE NO IDEA what being a foster parent is really like. You can beg and plead for people to adopt, but having been victims of the broken system for a while I think who in their right mind would choose to live this way!!!!????"
I haven't snapped. I'm just being honest. I'm frustrated with what the law allows. The big mantra in foster care training is "It's about the kids". I say to that BULL EXCREMENT. It's not about what's best for the kids. It's about following blind guidelines written by a bunch of people who HAVE NO IDEA!!! I'm preparing myself for the potential for my kids to go back to parents who will ultimately abuse and neglect them like they did before. I don't really think that will happen, but I have to prepare myself because not doing so would certainly be setting myself up. My husband and I have put a lot into these kids. If they go back it will certainly make their lives worse than they were before because they'll no longer be blissfully ignorant. They know what life is supposed to feel like now. They know what life is like with parents who encourage you to do well in school, who are sure you get to school and are there when you get home, who want to hear about your day, who care about your safety 24/7, etc. The postcard at the top is cynical, but for lots of children in foster care it's the truth. I kinda feel like I should be teaching them ways to survive with parents who will abuse substances and live very very selfish lives despite how it hurts their children.
We had a foster child for a month once. She ultimately was taken by an aunt and uncle. I got a call a couple weeks ago from a friend of that family begging me to take the child back. The family loves her but their natural children are abusing her. We were prepared to adopt her to start with and we had more to offer than that family did, but again, it's not about what's best. It's about how the laws are written. That child had a chance and has now been damaged further because of the system. She loved us and would have been happy as a clam to stay but that's not how it went down.
If I don't end up adopting the kids I have now I will end up VERY bitter and may not ever be the same again. With that said... my husband has said more than once that this too shall pass. He has already said whether or not we get the kids we should consider doing foster care again in the future. I think he's crazy, but I love his heart.
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