On Sunshine and Rainbows

The following is lifted from the Facebook status of a friend (Rebekah W). She is an amazing young woman and what she has to say completely hit the mark for where I find myself at the moment:

 

      I am reminded of a statement that C.S. Lewis made “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”~ C.S. Lewis,  The Weight of Glory

 I forget too easily that I am to "Be still and know He is God" Ps. 41:10 and that I am not made to perform but to bear the image of Almighty God in a manner that accurately reflects His character and nature. Preaching the Gospel to my heart today! Eph.2!

 

 

I've had a chain of several rough days. When it rains it pours. Last night I was with a trusted friend disclosing my thoughts. I've been feeling very "stuck" since Saturday. Though it felt very good to wring out my brain on her couch, I didn't leave there necessarily feeling like I had any more answers than I went there with.

 

This morning, though, while doing my hair, God spoke to my heart. I was reminded of what Rebekah said, "I am not made to perform but to bear the image of Almighty God in a manner that accurately reflects His character and nature."  This is the thought I had: In this life there will be pain. That is a fact. Scripture doesn't offer another option. In my hunt for authenticity, I have neglected something major. My performance-based, castle-dwelling lifestyle calls for perpetual sunshine and rainbows. It calls for me to fake it until I make it. Under my new paradigm, I neglected to plan for times when I hurt, for times when unresolved sin drags me back into the pit. The truth is those things are a part of life too. I'm realizing now, DUH!, that performance and authenticity can't coexist. I feel like I should have saved this post for Halloween because that last sentence to me is SCARY!!!!

 

To deal with pain, struggles, unresolved sin, etc..... I will have to trust God with a trust that feels to me very unnatural. I have to completely ban self-sufficiency.  I'm pretty sure I'm having heart palpitations right now! AND.... I'm gonna have to lay down the pride that has kept me from being appropriately vulnerable.  *Insert scary music*  And the plot thickens. God can handle it. Moreover, He wants to handle it. He wants me to trust Him with all of me.

 

 

Fave verse for today:

 

Deuteronomy 31:6

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

⁶ Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.”