On Joy

I am blown away right now.

At the beginning of the month a friend of mine sent me a link to a blog post that someone had written about her kids who are adopted from foster care. I immediately identified with her heart. I understood what relatively few can understand.  I was so moved by what she wrote that I went back to the beginning of her blog and read every word that she has written. Somewhere along the line I decided to reach out and tell her "thank you".

One of the ugly accusations that has been ruling my life is that "I'm unworthy". Those words run through my head regularly on a ticker tape. Those words will take time to overcome. One lesson I learned a very long time ago was to have expectations of acceptance from no one. I just accepted that no one would want to be around me. I don't need to "inflict" myself on people.

Last week I reached out to the blogger again.... I must be crazy or something. I simply told her that based on her blog we've had some common experiences. Since we're from the same community I offered to "go for a walk sometime". She responded positively.  Well today she wrote something that prompted me to ask if she wanted to walk today.... and she did. So I got together with an almost complete stranger. WUT?! I didn't think about it. I just did it.

Today I wasn't "inflicted" on anyone. I met a kindred spirit. Moreover, I DID have something to offer. I had matching experiences and ears to listen. God is good. Today by simply chatting with a friend I both felt God's love and showed His love to someone else. I am overjoyed.