Did you know that God is pretty funny? I've wondered recently when my new-found way to live my faith would be tested. Answer: tonight.
I was reading earlier about authenticity and trust. All through this book I'm reading it talks about loving people right where they are. It's like all my life I've been searching for round holes people and all I've found is people who are square pegs. SO FEW people have fit into my life. I needed people who were "like me" because that has felt to me something like safety.
WELL.... tonight I went to a Bible study with a bunch of square pegs people. And, it was OK. I realized I will have to be very careful because my inclination is perhaps to judge or to back away. There were lots of red danger flags that were waving wildly in my head. I will definitely use some energy working through whether or not the red flags actually mean "danger" or something more like "not like me" or "what used to be unsafe".
The truth is that God has been very specific with me on a couple of points. I'm TICKLED that the square pegs invited me. I'm certain that one of the pegs didn't have any idea what to do with me. She's the very peg DRESSED in a red flag. BUT... ya know what. I know God will use this to mature me. I'm actually pretty excited. I'm gonna have to put my money where my mouth is on this one. I just didn't think I would face this particular challenge so early in my rebuilding process.
Of my three closest friends, two of them were people I had totally written off and wanted nothing to do with, and God pretty much forced them into my path. One was by required accountability, and she and I ended up having hte most profound spiritual experiences every week the whole year we were accountability partners. The other misunderstood what I was asking (for casual accountability about one specific issue that I wanted her to check with me on the next week at Bible study - she thought I wanted to be hard-core accountability partners), and she has been a hugely good influence on me in the area of my marriage. I totally know where you are coming from, and I bet you will be amazed at what God does with those square pegs.
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