Mean Kids & Delusional Mothers

I have a friend whom I love dearly that has a HORRIBLE child. He can be sweet. I've seen it. BUT... he has a big, fat mean streak. The other day he told my daughter she's fat. She cried. He then for the rest of the night called her a fat cry baby. His mother isn't in denial but sticks up for him to a fault. I don't even tell her anymore the things he says. The last time I did she went and talked to him and he denied doing what 3 or more children reported he did and she believed him! OY! My children aren't angels but I don't pardon their behavior just because they assure me that the rest of planet is conspiring against them. My children are generally guilty as charged.

I had a conversation the other day with this same mother. I didn't tell her what was said, or by whom, I just said something had been said and I wanted to talk to her about helping me redirect my child. Immediately she went on the defensive (knowing guilt). I didn't mention any specifics. I pointed no finger. I simply asked her about one of the really sweet girls that's close to my daughter's age because I want them to be friends and this friend would know best how to accomplish that because she's great with kids. (ironic huh?) Anyway... she went on to say my kid says things too. I let it slide because I wasn't in the mood to be angry with my friend. I happen to like her a lot. So.. the next day I sent her an email and asked what my kid had said (in case I needed to speak to her about it). I was blown away by her response. I was expecting that she was going to say something snarky that perhaps my kid said after her kid called her fat and made her cry. But.. she said that she was walking out to the trampoline and witnessed my kid in a battle of words with an older kid. It went something like "You're a liar, nu-uh you're a liar, nu-uh you're a liar", etc. How dare she put my kid in the same category as her little monster for having a "liar" war. In my book they're very different.

The good news is that I'm proud of both of my kids for being able to endure the attacks of a vicious beast of a kid. And.. their credibility went up with me. They keep telling me that kid is horrible and is always mean to them. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I still will to some degree because his parents are wonderful people and I know they are aware and are working on his faults. But... I lean more toward believing what my kids recount about time they are with them. So far he's thrown mud all over my little one (she was wearing brand new clothes that were ruined), he shoved the little one into a tree and her back was tore up from the bark (he denied it) and has now called my oldest fat and made her cry (I didn't even bother telling his mother). Those are just the major offenses that I'm aware of.