On The Evolution of My Shopping Life

OK.... I have a problem

When I was a kid we shopped at an awesome place called TG&Y. I remember that I loved it very much. It had everything I needed. Then something strange happened. It started having less or none of what I needed and eventually had nothing I needed and a bunch of cheap junk instead.

After TG&Y we shopped at this great place named Roses. I remember that I loved it very much. It had everything I needed. Then something strange happened. It started having less or none of what I needed and eventually had nothing I needed and a bunch of cheap junk instead.

After Roses came the greatest place ever. It was called Walmart. I loved it very much. My personal shopping mantra even became "If Walmart doesn't have it, I don't need it!" Then something strange happened. They called it "the remodel". I think it was supposed to be a good thing. I noticed though that after "the remodel" it has less or none of what I need and has just a bunch of cheap junk instead. 

The problem I'm having is that Walmart has been my go-to place for so many years I'm having a hard time dragging myself away.

I live in a dink-squat little town. It's the smallest place I've ever lived. There's actually still a Roses! When I first moved here I learned quickly that Roses was a joke. It basically was a place that had odd-off kinds of items (i.e. mu-mu's for old ladies). It was in an older part of town and I think catered more to the elderly and those on very small budgets.


Well.... two days ago I was in Walmart again. I received the confirmation I needed to know that I needn't shop there any longer. I should've taken a picture with my cell phone. They have this item placed right there in the "LOOK WHAT WE HAVE" section. Guess what it was??!!  I had to borrow this picture from the internet.

 Yes, people....Walmart in Harrisonburg carries mu-mus. (and are proud of it!) I never thought I would live to see the fall of Walmart.

Now there's this great place called Target. I've been very hesitant to shop there. It doesn't have a grocery store. It pains me to think I have to go to two different stores to buy clothes and green beans. It's wrong. I'm upset by this. I don't love it.  It does, however, most of the time have all the things I need (except green beans) and NOTHING in there is cheap (monetarily speaking).

I'm kinda sacred. What will come after Target? I don't handle change as easily as I once did. I like going to the same ol' place day in and day out. I like knowing where to find the peanut butter!! Is that too much to ask?

Desperation

I have an addiction. It's an interesting addiction because I'm not addicted all the time. It's only a seasonal addiction.

The other day we went to the library because the girls wanted some books. Initially I didn't want anything. BUT, I decided to get just one book. For me, the notion of getting one book is laughable, but that's what I decided to do. I picked out a nice fat one.

Well.... I read it in a day and a half. AND... now I'm wanting to read more books. Once I get started I just can't stop. It's insane.

I'm feeling desperate for a good story. I want to go to the library really bad.

The Stuff of Mondays

I've decided photo blogs are a fantastic idea. I LOVE looking at pictures. It's a sickness.

Happy Monday. I don't have a topic picked out.

I had a fun day Saturday with my girls. We did lots of moving about town. Once we got home we hung out and acted silly and took lots of pictures. I'm not gonna post the pictures here as this format is too public. Just wait though..... the adoption is gonna be final April 21 and the doorknobs can eat my shorts! I'm gonna post all the pictures I want because at that point they can't have anything to say about it :) Pppppbbbbttttt :P to DSS.

I'm No Siskel & Ebert..Part Whatever

We saw Alice in Wonderland this afternoon.

It wasn't my favorite. I wasn't livid that I spent the money to see it on the big screen, though.

I can't, however, give it a glowing review.

I can say the cinematography was amazing. I can also say that as Johnny Depp movies go it was one of the better ones. He was true to style, but wasn't overly creepy like in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

Instead of being whimsical, it was very action oriented.  I think they took a stab at having a positive message. It had some sweet moments. It was just obvious that they spent more time on the look than the feel. As you would expect from Disney they took unnecessary liberties. The caterpillar puffed on a Hookah pipe every time you saw him. Some of the Red Queen's people that surrounded her were inappropriately dressed (large over exaggerated chests). There was lots of poor treatment of animals by the Red Queen.

My oldest really enjoyed the movie.  The little one, like me, was bored. She didn't really like it. I'll be surprised too if she doesn't have nightmares. It was way too scary for a PG movie. She didn't say she was scared but it doesn't take much for her to have nightmares.

There you go... my 2 cents (because that's all I have left after paying for three of us to see a movie in the theater).

On Spring

I really do love spring.

My house is clean and all the windows are open. Yum!

I'm fixin' to curl up with a book. (Another Diane Chamberlain, it's good)

If a person could capture and sell the complete essence of spring (warm sun, cool breeze, birdies tweeting, etc) they would make enough off me to retire at 30.

Something about spring (and fall actually) reminds me of the best days of my childhood. It reminds me of hanging out at my grandmother's house.

Spring especially reminds me of making "soup" in my grandmother's backyard.

My grandmother had some old kitchen items (pots, pans, spoons, etc.) in her basement. There was one particular big boiler we used to make "soup". One person was in charge of filling the pot with some water and stirring. The stirring had to be done continuously for some reason. The rest of us would gather "ingredients". One of our favorite "ingredients" was blooms off the hybiscus bush in the front yard. If you got caught picking those you got in big trouble so usually a brother or a cousin got those. The rest of us would gather dirt, leaves from different bushes, grasses, flower petals, etc. It took a long time to do. When we were done we dumped it out. I'm not exactly sure what our fascination with "soup" was but we made it all the time.

Yesterday I was sitting out on the driveway reading. The girls' brother came over to play. He and my youngest were waiting for the oldest to change clothes, etc. (They were waiting a while.) While they were waiting they got bored. Brother decided to lay face down on the driveway with his head pointing downhill (it's a REALLY steep driveway). He proceeded to spit and blow it down the hill. He kept having to add to it because it was evaporating. My youngest decided it looked like fun so she commenced blowing her own spit down the driveway.

As repulsed as I was by their chosen activity, it made me smile. It looked like exactly the kind of thing my brothers and I would have done as kids had we been bored and had a steep paved hill.

On Compliments

A cool thing happened yesterday.

I got a compliment.

It wasn't just your average compliment.

It was a compliment from a person who WOULD NOT lie about what she said.

It was a compliment from a person whose words have weight in my eyes.

It made me feel pretty darn special.

On Foul Language and my Odd Sense of Humor

I detest foul language. I tell my children all the time that it makes a person sound really stupid (yes, we use that word in our house).

There is a part of me, however, that finds elementary name calling kinda funny. (Not that I practice it *out loud* or allow my children to practice it)

I don't know how much TV you watch, but Orbit gum has some pretty crazy commercials. One of them makes me laugh.



Something about adults using that kind of language makes me laugh. It's sad that the scenario is what it is, but I still find the commercial well done.

Why did I tell you all that? In the word of my Hubby Guy - Why not? And.. because I feel like there hasn't been much levity from me lately.

You're Kiddin' Right?

So I'm finally feeling decent again. I started back at the gym yesterday.

Today while I was chugging away I witnessed a very sad reminder of how inadequate women feel.

I think I've shared before that I'm crazy about elliptical machines. I never thought I would find an exercise machine that I didn't hate. Did I say I love elliptical machines? :)

So today I was chugging away, doin' my thing. 

Let me just take a moment to say... I AM NOT one of those skinny-mini people who a brisk wind would knock over. I do not look like I eat one lettuce leaf a day. I AM NOT the picture of health. I am the picture of what eating donuts for breakfast does to a person. Ya with me?

It took me some time to even be able to go into a gym. I feel embarrassed because my cute gymnast figure is long gone. I feel like a fat slob and it's hard to go in there where the lettuce eaters live.

Anyway... so I was in there chugging away, doin' my thing and I noticed the skinny-mini next to me checking out my numbers. I consider it generally rude to look over at someone else's machine display. This girl did it and wasn't shy about it at all. She then reached down and bumped up her numbers. I couldn't help it after a while. I looked over and she had put her resistance number one higher than mine. How sad is that?

I still can't decide what she was thinking to make her do that. Did she feel bad to be doing less than fatty-fatty-2x4 who was working out next to her?  Does she thrive on competition and just needed to be "beating" someone? I'll never know.  The thought that came to mind, though, was that women are so competitive with each other. Why do we do that to ourselves. Why the one-upmanship?

It Was A Good Day

I frightened Hubby Guy today.

I had a very productive day.

After work I went and worked out. From there I went home and cleaned the entire house. About the time the house was clean the little one was home. I helped her with her homework. After homework she went to her friend's house. I started dinner. While waiting for dinner the big one got home. I helped her with homework. We ate dinner. After dinner I washed the gray out of my hair (no, I'm not too proud to admit it).

I finally feel better today.

I still have more energy. It's kinda crazy.

I haven't had a day like this one in a great long while. I love it when I get lots of stuff done. It gives me even more energy.

I realize that hearing about my day isn't really riveting reading. I'm just excited because I had a good day.

Welcome Inside My Head Part 2

The other side of what I've been mulling is this: How is it even possible to not relate on a superficial level when people are constantly sizing people up based solely on what they can see with their eyes? Example: Apparently I regularly wear an expression on my face that "says" all manner of off putting things to people like "Leave me alone" or "I'm mad". My face lies. There is SO MUCH MORE to me than the expression I wear on my face. I don't think many are willing to get over it. I say that because not many have. They make their judgments and move on. Superficial. Apparently that's just how the world works.

My Pastor Guy at church is doing a sermon series on "Being the Best Version of You" or something like that. I'm of the opinion that the best parts of me come from the "depths" of me that I referred to before. I'm sad that I don't operate from that place daily. I stay in the "shallows" because I perceive that it's safe there.  Have you heard that Casting Crowns song "Somewhere In The Middle"? It's also a good example of how I feel about this subject. Some of my favorite lines from the song: "Somewhere between the hot and the cold, somewhere between the new and the old, somewhere between who I am and who You're making me, Somewhere in the middle you'll find me. Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control? Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense, deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle."  I believe we get caught because we believe the lies others tell and we judge ourselves based on their bias.

Why do I let fear and judgment and how the world prefers to communicate keep me from operating from the depths?

AND.. why do we see this and discount the person inside. :

This is the picture I saw that I think makes my point. I happen to know this person. She doesn't really look like this. It's part of a character she plays. I've seen the character once in person and now in this picture. The first time I ever saw the character I knew it was her and I was still disturbed. I continue to be struck with the notion that what is seen is unattractive but there's a depth behind what's seen. She is an amazing person. If you didn't take time to get past the image you see here, you'd never know how awesome she is.

Here comes my end point. Thank you for hanging in and hearing me out. :)

Daily I operate as if I look like the above person. I discount my own self. I believe that people see me and discount me. I buy the notion that people can't be trusted and that they don't care. I hang out in the shallows. What a loss.

One of my Facebook friends posted a quote in their status sometime in the past couple of weeks. I don't remember who said it. The quote was something like "The work of the Lord runs on the rails of relationships." It was an awesome quote. I tried to find that status again and I can't. I include that because it's true. The best parts of us live in the depths that we don't always share. I think I would do better for the kingdom if I would create and maintain relationships that aren't stunted by fear and judgment.

If I had a magic wand.... I'd wave it about dramatically and remove the wall of "isms" that hinders me and others from engaging the world the way that God would have us engage the world. We would all operate from the "depths" where the best in each of us resides.

Still Waiting :(

Consider this while anxiously awaiting Part II (tee-hee... "as if")

Actual event in my house two days ago:

We have un-crate trained our hounds (long story). Now the beasts roam free in the house during the day.

So two days ago... Either Hubby Guy's memory of actually closing the laundry room door was wishful thinking or the smart hound has figured out how to break in (totally possible). There was a bag of garbage sitting next to the can (another long story about pet peeves of mine). I walked in the door and immediately noticed that the floor outside the laundry room was covered in garbage. As I proceeded into the house I noticed that the entire house was literally carpeted with garbage. The three hounds did a very thorough job. I took a moment to contemplate what they had done. I wish now that I had taken pictures.

Anyway.... they had literally "sorted" the trash. All manner of cans/receptacles once containing food had been taken into the den in front of the fire place. The labels had been eaten and the cans were licked clean.

Youngest child's unwanted school papers were neatly separated on the kitchen rug. That part was really kind of creepy because she gets in these weird moods and literally lays papers on the floor side by side and end to end to "carpet" the floor. The dogs did a very fair representation of that with her papers.

Into the dining room one hound had taken all of the "cardboardy-type" refuse and paper towels.  There he proceeded to shred them. That's his favorite thing to do. Heaven for him is being able to get a hold of a box of tissues and shred every tissue and the box too.

The rest was just spread all around. The bag was left empty exactly where it was. The bag was not torn or mangled in any way.

I took the opportunity to thoroughly clean every square inch of flooring in the house that afternoon.

After cleaning I went to my room where I found the cat curled up in the chair sleeping. I asked him why he didn't tell the dogs to stop. (Yes... I converse with my animals and yes, they talk back) He said he tried but one of the dogs said to him, "Can it cat or you're next!" Dogs can be so mean.  I also asked the rabbit what happened. He wasn't betraying any confidences. Our animals are a pretty tight group. Let me introduce them.

Left - Mishka (Aussie Shepherd) - likely door jacker and paper arranger
Middle - Wiley (English Cocker Spaniel) - paper and cardboard shredder
Right - Churchill (Yellow Labrador)- can and receptacle licker

Boo - lookin out for number one

Hareold - betrays no confidences

Pause..

I have Welcome...Part II written. I'm waiting on my friend to give me the picture.


In the meantime.... because I'm the coolest mom ever *snort*, I took my kids to the "Golden Arshes" (for explanation see my youngest) for dinner.... Anyway... it wasn't what I planned. I just had an errand I needed to run during when I normally would have been cooking dinner. (Frantic looking for stuff to make my house smell like warm yummies because I have another showing tomorrow)

So picture with me..  at about 6:30pm we're chowing on some McD's and sippin on sugary soda (because that's how we roll) and the little one cocks her head and her cup and says sweetly whilst pleading with puppy dog eyes, "Refill?..."  To which I swiftly and strongly said No!. Do you know what the little punk had to say? She said with THE BEST attitude a 7 year old can muster, "Can't you do something nice for me just once?"   And... I found it funny. I reminded her that bedtime was close. She went on to assure me that Coca Cola makes her sleepy. Again, *snort*. She's such a card. We've decided she's gonna be a lawyer.

I didn't find what I was looking for. I need a fragrance that's not too powerful because some people are super sensitive. I want something not too sweet and not musky. I would prefer something that's not a plug in or a candle. I found these cool wood wick thingys at Cracker Barrell the last time I was there. I thought I remembered there being a yummy one. I went there first tonight and they were all stinky. Febreeze has that type of thingy but I wasn't keen on any of their smells either. The lady at Cracker Barrel said I could put any yankee candle on a warmer and it would work perfectly but I couldn't find a candle warmer at target. So... now I have nothing but the tired old Febreeze noticeables that I had before. Bummer!  Any suggestions for how to achieve a yummy smelling house with little to no effort?

Welcome Inside My Head Part 1

As I mentioned before, I've been sick (11 days today). For whatever reason when I'm sick I tend to be more contemplative than usual. I've been mulling over something.

I don't know if you remember my post last week about shuffling my music and the ability to figure me out by listening to my iPod. Anyway... that was kinda the genesis of this particular thought process. Then a few days ago I saw a picture that really portrayed perfectly what I've been mulling.

I've made a determination about me. I don't know if it's positive or negative. I also don't know if it's how everyone is or if it's just me. It's this: I don't generally relate to people from the depths of me. I tend to camp out relationally in a rather superficial place. The people closest to me are really the only exceptions.

My very favorite book/story of all time is called "The Wall". I recognized myself instantly when I heard the story for the first time. It talks about a girl who at some point for protection started building a wall around herself. After a while she realized that she had completely isolated herself. She was miserable and decided to tear down the wall. The story talks about the process and the things she learned. It's an awesome story. I've read it over and over again. I've read it to several others and we've had amazing discussions.

I tend to be a wall builder. There are two predominant reasons for this truth about me. The chief reason is fear. I'm afraid people won't like me if they knew what I'm really like. I happen to be fond of the real me, but I don't generally let others see that person. The second reason has to do with how people as a whole relate to each other. It goes back to the notion that people ask the question "How are you?" fully expecting the answer to be "fine". They don't really want to know. That whole notion causes me to distrust. It makes me very shy of conversation. I don't really prefer superficiality. Most of the time, though, I feel like it's the only option.

On Mulling

Something about being sick (yes, I'm STILL sick) helps me get in touch with my creative side.

I've been mulling lots of things lately. I need to post about the one thing occupying so much of my brain space. I need to acquire a picture from a friend first. She has a picture that perfectly speaks to the point I've been mulling.

I've been mulling a lot too about what type of house I desire to move into when my house sells. I'm somewhat pleased to announce that I walked into and fell in love with "the house" yesterday. I say somewhat pleased because I'm in love with a house I can't have until mine sells. There is a very big chance that I won't end up with that house.

This is one of those times in my life where I'm wholly aware of the necessity to be surrendered to God's timing. I have prayed that way about this whole move. I want to be excited that I found "the house" but I know full well that God is in charge and "the house" may not be the one He has picked out for us.

In the meantime, though, I'm gonna stop mulling about houses. I know which one I want.

* Heavy Sigh *

So... I'm tired. I've been sick for a week and can't seem to shake it. I clean daily in hopes some wonderful person will come buy my house. I guess that's stressful or something. And... I can't sleep at night and when I do I dream of houses or have nighmares about them. Everything is house themed.

Even my kid news is house themed. In doing my daily search of new listings. I noticed that the house they were living in when they were taken away from their parents is for sale. My kind realtor agreed to get a showing for us so the kids could see the inside one last time. It was some nice closure. We invited the brother that's between them. He and his adoptive parents came too.

I have foggy memories of already blogging this. Sorry, I can't follow my own thoughts lately.

On Family Recipes

I said sometime recently that I bought the makings for "Thanksgiving" because that's what Hubby Guy was hungry for.

When I was growing up Thanksgivings and Christmases were generally "peacetime" in our complicated family. We all packed ourselves into my grandparent's teeny-tiny house in Meridian, MS. My grandmother cooked for days and fed an army of people. Those holidays are the bright spots in my memories.

As with anyone, I believe MY grandmother was the best cook on the planet. My mouth still waters thinking about holidays at her house. Unfortunately she is almost 93 and doesn't know who she is anymore. Moreover, she was the type of cook that went from memory and never wrote anything down. This has proven problematic. My mother can do a pretty decent imitation of some of the things. She, unfortunately, cooks the way my grandmother did... from memory. The problem with that system is that she never remembers exactly how much of anything goes into the recipe.

A few years ago my mother was visiting us in VA. I decided she should make "Thanksgiving" so I could watch and write down what she did. You should see what I wrote down. I should scan it so you can laugh. It's not even a recipe. It has random stuff and random amounts and reads like a really broken flow chart.

Well.... I studied the broken flow chart and figured out what exactly it was that I should buy to make an honest effort at the "best" part of said meal - the "dressing" as we call it in our family. I've never eaten anything like it anywhere else. Instead of the typical "over-saged" stuffing people try to pass off as edible, it's a light bread based side that's really yummy.

My brother, "Uncle Todd", was coming for the day on Saturday so I decided to make "Thanksgiving" that day. Uncle Todd knows what the meal should taste like and I knew he would tell me the truth.

I am still tickled and pleased to report that I nailed it. He was impressed. We all ate ourselves sick in the typical family "Thanksgiving" style. It was awesome.

I don't consider myself a "good cook". I can pull off a couple of dishes really well but I'm not all that handy in the kitchen. I'm just so happy that the good stuff has been preserved. I'm gonna actually write out a recipe. My oldest asked if one day I would teach her so she could pass it on. My heart swelled. I'm glad our family favorites won't be gone forever.

On Figuring Me Out

In listening to my ipod shuffle today I was struck with a thought.

I'm very multifaceted.

A thought that particularly mortifies me is letting "just anyone" listen to my ipod. I don't think they would understand. Eclectic isn't quite the word that captures the truth of what's there.

The funny thing is, if all a person had to go on to figure me out was the contents of my ipod I think they might actually get me.