One Last Thing...

I'm sorry that I've been a blog slacker. Gymnastics season always throws me for a loop. When I'm home I don't feel like doing anything but sitting around. My house is full of mounds of laundry and inches of filth. The team is doing FANTASTIC though and Hubby Guy hasn't killed the kids yet so all is well.

I told you all the good parts of the cruise itself. I haven't, however, shared with you the deep, insightful moment I had. I wish I had written about it earlier. I will try my hardest to relate to you how cool it was.I feel like I need to provide some sort of a visual to help you understand what I'm about to describe. I shared this picture with you before. In this picture you see the reflection in the glass of us and what's behind us. You can also see lights on the riverbanks outside.

I talked before about our favorite place on the boat being the "Galaxy of the Stars". We ended up there a lot in the evenings for different entertainment type activities. My staying power usually outlasted Hubby Guy's because it was during the New Years football playoffs. Had he gotten exactly what he wanted he would have sat in the room watching football for the entire cruise. He's a good guy though and didn't take me on a cruise for our anniversary to abandon me to football. Anyway.... I quite enjoyed all the hullabaloo and loud music and lights, etc. of the evening entertainment in "The Galaxy". One night toward the end of the cruise I found myself there alone. I wandered to the front (which was in the same room but separated by a glass wall). It was deserted up there so I was basically alone but essentially still in the same room as all the activity.

It was a full moon (or close to it). I leaned really close to the window and watched it for a little bit. When I got tired of staring at the moon I pulled back from the window a little and saw the coolest thing. My body blocked all the color and lights reflecting in the glass from the activity behind me. In the shape of my body I could see outside (the full moon reflecting on the water) and outside my shape were all the colors and lights and activity. I stared at it for a long time. Imagine the picture above but with a dark spot in the middle and ill defined bright colored lights and a disco ball spinning around in the background. You should be able to get the gist of it. I'm sorry I can't describe it better.

I had several thoughts while I was standing there. The moment was so perfect. Here's the thought that stuck with me. I likened it to "the inner vs outer life" of a person. The truth of me is that I'm kinda boring in public. I'm not a partier. I'm socially awkward. I melt into the walls when I'm in a big group of people. On the inside though... I'm funny, social, animated and creative, etc. When I looked into that window I saw both sides of me. I saw the way I generally present but I could also see what I carry around inside. It was kinda cool and sad at the same time.

It also seemed to me like a decent descriptor for depression. I don't personally suffer from it but know and have known people who do.

Another thought that stuck with me was that it seemed like a fantastic picture of a centered/focused life. It represented for me the notion that life gets crazy with schedules and responsibilities, etc. A centered/focused life allows a person to maintain their heading despite all that swirls around them.

At the time I had several more thoughts. I don't remember them now weeks later. I had a blast, though, standing there taking it in and thinking through all the things what I was seeing could represent.

I know.... I'm a nerd. I just can't help myself.