On Faith (Part 4)

So, armed with my mystery what, I checked back in to Beth's talk. I didn't really check out, but I substituted the word what when she used the word fear to see what else I could learn.

Beth asked this question at some point: "Do you want to live in the supernatural provision of God or in just a humanly explainable life?" I totally got what she was trying to say. When I was living my life of "fullness" it was absolutely comfy, easy and perfectly explainable. To live in the supernatural provision of God is to live beyond myself, to do those things that require actual faith. From my viewpoint of miserable sinner, that supernatural provision stuff is a tall order because it means I have to *big gulp* climb out of my comfort zone. From the mountaintop of the LPL conference that seemed a lot more do-able.

So at small group this week we started a study on Service. Funny how when God is talking to you the same message comes from all directions. This week I've already had to fight whining with God over how completely unprepared I feel for accomplishing my "non-so-mystery-anymore what." I don't know why, like a little brat kid, I always want to scream and holler and kick my feet and fight God when He tells me what He wants me to do. I can say, though, that I am grateful when he coddles me and encourages me and shows me how it can't possibly be as bad as I think it will be.

Those that know me are familiar with "the face" I always seem to have that gives others the impression that I'm mad, sad, homicidal, or something like it. I know this face because I inherited it. It's part of my genetic make-up and nothing can be done about it. I'm also not a giant fan of chatting up people I don't know or big crowds of people. Funny story, a few months back my job on sunday morning became sitting at the WELCOME CENTER, of all places. If you know me, you have my permission to giggle at that notion. Technically my job is checking in children. It just so happens that where I sit says Welcome Center really big over the top of my head. My dear friend pointed out that she considers this activity clearly outside my comfort zone. It occurred to me that she's right. I do it anyway, though, because it needs done and I'm there early anyway because my oldest has youth group before church. So in thinking through this activity it also occurred to me that I'm able to be successful at the job because of supernatural provision. Yay! I'm doing something right. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you have to rush out and do the thing you hate in order to be faithful. I am saying that when we fill ourselves up with faith we are capable of more. And I'm no super Christian so a little supernatural provision must go a long way.

Another question Beth asked was: "Can I recount God's faithfulness to me?" I would say yes. The above example is just one of many, many examples I can think of. When I think, though, of all of the time I've walked with the Lord I'm sad to think that the greater majority of it has been from a very comfy place. That's the pervading point of all of this for me. I would really like to do more great things for God. He has done lots of great things for me.