On Faith (Part 3)

The continuing words connected to trying to process my weekend.

The second point that got my attention was this. She shared a little drawing she had made in her notes that I can't draw here, but it stood for "If nothing is coming down that must mean something is up!". When I moved to where I am now and started trying to reconfigure life, my goal at the time was to try to recapture what I had in my mid to late twenties. Like I said before, I didn't understand. So I prayed for the same thing over and over. DUH! I failed to realize that something must be up. Hindsight is 20/20, right? When I look back now it's obvious that something was definitely up.

8 years ago I found myself in what at the time I called "A God Forsaken Cow Town". I hated it. Most of the reason I hated it was because of the aforementioned emptiness I felt. My Hubby Guy had been going to a church he thought was pretty cool. It definitely had it's good points. It wasn't, however, gettin' it done for me.  So we started what could only be described as a very underwhelming church search. The town where we live is a tough place. It's small and weird. I felt like Goldilocks trying to find her place in bear world. It was just ridiculous trying to find the right fit. It took time that I didn't feel like I had. We did eventually settle on a place where we could both be happy. It's been 6 years. Yay! I mention this time in my life because it's an important part of my story and actually was brought to mind while "chewing". See On Faith (Part 2)

Beth spent some time talking about the concept of serving God from a place of faith instead of a place of "fullness". She spoke about having the abundant life we're called to - the life Christ died for (John 10:10) For whatever reason, I don't think I had ever considered what having a spiritually abundant life looks like and how that's accomplished. I've always loved that verse and the concept but never spent time actually thinking about how it's fleshed out. On the way home, my dear friend, asked the question "What does faithfulness look like in daily life?"  She was WAY AHEAD of me on that one. I've pondered the question since then. What we heard this weekend absolutely begs the question.

Saturday afternoon Beth started talking about an overwhelming fear that she had struggled with. I felt like it was a complete aside. Fear isn't something that I struggle with regularly. She was talking about how fear often is what steals our ability to live faithfully. So since that particular issue wasn't a biggie for me I started praying that God would reveal to me what the biggie for me is that steals my ability to live faithfully.

 Pretty soon after landing feet first on a solid place church-wise, I started feeling a pretty strong calling. The odd part was I didn't know to what. I've wrestled with that odd notion for a while. As I was sitting there praying Saturday,  a word came to mind. I have no reason to believe it wasn't an immediate answer to prayer. Cool, right? The word that came to mind was the word WHAT. The crazy, good part was that I knew immediately what He meant. He was speaking directly to mystery "what" that I feel called to. So, feeling particularly buoyed in spirit, I asked for the mysterious "what" that I feel like I've been chasing for years. I felt bold enough to ask for specifics. Apparently, He was feeling chatty and I got my answer.

Now, if you REALLY know me and know the uninhibited crazy-girl in me, you can probably imagine exactly how "Daffy Duck" I went on the inside over this revelation. For the rest of you, the majority, I will say only that words are hard to come by that adequately relate the joy I felt.  I got a Word and it was a very personal Word. I can't remember another time in life where that has happened with such a quickness.

I'm not going to share with you my mystery what. I feel like it's a jumping off place for lots more conversations with the Father. I will, however, tell you that I have more to say. Tune in for Part 4. :)