On Pegs

My circumstances during childhood often left much to be desired. Those desires have everything to do with how I have traditionally formed relationships. This week I'm starting to realize that perhaps I should reconsider some of my behaviors relative to how I handle the people in my life.

In a blog On Tests I touched on the people I usually feel like are keepers. I called them round pegs people. They are the people that easily fit into the placeholders I have reserved for people in my life. I don't know if you've ever played the game "Life". It has these little cars that you put the Mom peg and the Dad peg and the little pink girl pegs and little blue boy pegs to make your family. Any time I have ever defined family in my head that's what it looked like to me.... the little square car with the little square people all lined up just right. That's what my family always looked like.

I've always been a person to categorize people I meet. There are parent types, close friend types, acquaintances, coworkers, strangers, brothers, sisters, hatchet murderers (I seriously have that category), etc. Each category has a role and a safety rating. Some roles contain people that I let close. Some roles are filled with people marked dangerous and who I don't go near if I can help it. I'm realizing this week that my system is flawed. It may well actually be somewhat unnecessary.

Now.. there is nothing wrong with seeking safe relationships. It's wise to guard your heart, etc. The trouble that I'm having is I believe that I have been unfairly disqualifying people from being anywhere near me or being a part of my life in any way because of unfair tags that I have placed on them.  For example, one of my new friends describes herself as a "raging extrovert". I can assure you that 3 months ago I would have classified her unsafe and never thought another day about her. When I told some trusted friends that I had met her they all said about her, "Yep, she's a bit much. She's really out there."  You should know that I find her dear. We relate to each other from a really neat place. I haven't experienced that "really out there" girl. God is definitely in it. I am working on another new relationship with a lady who in some ways is really broken right now because of a heartbreaking life change. 3 months ago I would not have invested. She doesn't trust others so why would I trust her? You should know that whether or not we become close, God is in it. I'm not afraid like I would have been. I really love her. She's precious to me. I have a third friend right now that formerly I would have disqualified because of her career. My own stereotypes and fears would have kept me solidly far, far away from her. She's definitely a square peg for me. BUT... I am oddly drawn and I have been blessed. God is in it. All three of these women are AMAZING! All three of them 3 months ago I would have disqualified. That makes me sad.

Now that I get that God loves me and everyone else too, figurative "shape" doesn't really matter. There's a place in the kingdom for round pegs, square pegs, octagon pegs, etc. And.... everyone has something to offer.