On How My Friends Are Lot Like Water Wings

A couple of years ago Hubby Guy and I went through some training for how to deal with children like ours. In one session they introduced the concept of "shark music". We watched the same video of a beautiful path through the woods that opens up onto a gorgeous beach. The first time we watched the video it had nice peaceful music behind it. The second time we saw the video it had a really creepy, sinister sounding music track behind it.We spent the session talking about how perception can be easily tainted by what's in the background for a person. One person's best case scenario can be chock-full of fear and trepidation for the person standing right next to them.

Today has been a "shark music" kind of day for me. Things keep happening that tease my particular sensitivities. I've felt rather tentative emotionally-speaking. This morning was rainy and unpleasant. That didn't help AT ALL. BUT..... the sun came out and now it's spectacular outside. I'm feeling much better for the moment. My analytical side has taken over. I'm pretty sure God cleared up the skies just for me today.

From my "castle".... inside "my bubble"... I felt very detached. I was able to compartmentalize every little thing. Everything was filed away with precious little of it causing any real emotion or actual feeling. I lived above my world. I was determined to be controlled by no one ever. I'm learning now to be present and a part of my world. It isn't subject to me. I'm in it. To me that has felt a lot like floating in the ocean out of my depth. I have feelings. It's weird.

I was thinking today about how blessed I am to have such an amazing support system to help me transition into my new-found freedom. I was mentally cataloging "my crew". I may or may not have said before that lots of the time inside my head things look very Saturday morning cartoon-like. Well, I realized that my crew are a lot like water wings for me. I'm ok splashing around out of my depth until I learn to swim because I have a support system that helps keep me afloat.