On A Healthier Society

I had a thought.

We were at a restaurant and there was a baby at the table next to us. He was sitting there minding his own business and sucking on his little melt-aways. All of the sudden something made him sad, mad, or whatever. He dropped his little head back and wailed.

The thought I had was this: How incredibly freeing would that be.... if when we felt sad, mad, or whatever we could just wail right then and there until we were through it, over it, or at least consoled?

When I picture that kind of society in my head it makes me giggle. I think I'm right though. I know in my lifetime I've spent way more energy in concealing my emotions than I have releasing them. I think we would be a healthier society if we could just be real and immediate with our emotions.

Wierd Science

My Hubby Guy is the type of dad who is forever trying to sell the kids some line of bull. They are forever looking to me for verification of his stories. More often than not I spoil his fun.

Well.... today at Cracker Barrel the oldest had one of their "campfire dinners". It's meat and potatoes wrapped in aluminum foil and cooked over a fire. When she was done she announced that she had eaten almost all of it. Hubby Guy then chimed in and said if she ate the aluminum foil "THEN he would be impressed". She grabbed a piece to start chewing (because she rarely backs down from a challenge). He went on to tell her that she could create an electrical charge in her mouth if she chewed aluminum foil over a filling.  I thought it was a line of bull. I kept asking if he was serious and he maintained that he was. It didn't work for the Oldest because she doesn't have the right kind of "old school" fillings. I did though. I grabbed a piece of foil and bit down on it and lo and behold I got an electrical shock! It was CREEPY! I never knew you could do that.

Truly, The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

SCHOOL TIME!!!!  YAY!!!

I was SUCH a nerd when I was school aged that even now when it's time to go back to school I get excited. Yesterday I registered the oldest. We got her schedule and went and found all her classes. I found myself TOTALLY wishing that it was me going back to school. Fortunately for me the oldest doesn't really care about school supplies. I get to go shopping for those by myself and pretend they're really for me. YES, I'm a DORK! 

The only thing I was disappointed about yesterday was that we couldn't meet her teachers. We changed school systems when we moved. Once thing this system does differently is that the kids don't get to meet their teachers before the first day of school. In my opinion that is WAY bo-bo! But... I will be there with bells on for back to school night so I can shake all their hands and wish them luck with my oldest angel. :)

The thing other than fresh school supplies that I appreciate most about this time of year is returning to the routine. I prefer to do the same things the same way at the same time every day. I AM that person. I'm not OCD but I truly love a set schedule. It makes me happy. For whatever reason, when I have a schedule I'm ultimately more productive. I also appreciate down time more. I guess I'm weird like that.

On Healing

This morning I was reading a friend's blog. She was talking about her newly adopted daughter. She reminded me of the notion that when children are young and their cries are ignored they learn to turn inward. They stop crying because they've learned it's a pointless exercise.

I experienced that with my girls, especially the younger one. For along time if she got hurt she would just drop her hair in front of her face and hunch her little self over and get really quiet until she was over whatever had happened.

If you have met my girls you know that the youngest now is a big card! She is chok-full of personality. A couple weeks ago we were helping out some friends by looking in on their dogs while they were away on a day trip. Their dogs are really fun and spirited. The Youngest was throwing balls for them and they were returning them to her. One of the dogs tried to grab the ball from her hand and inadvertently bit her finger. I was completely taken aback by her response. She dropped her head back and wailed at the top of her lungs. I stood there for a minute watching before I scooped her up to console her because it was amazing.

We've had the girls for 2 1/2 years now and in some ways I feel like we've had them since birth. Our family continues to bond and grow the easy camaraderie that comes from being with people you know extremely well. I don't see as often their tell tale signs of healing. They are still healing but the change just isn't as obvious as it was before.  I hope I don't ever start to miss those signs. They are encouraging.

Lifestyles

I LOVE my life.

I LOVE that I'm married!

I LOVE that I'm a mom!

BUT.... There is one thing I miss about being single...or even being married with no kids.

I miss the quiet. I miss the ability to not have anything to do or anyone to take care of.

Today I have my afternoon to myself. My family members are elsewhere. I can do anything I want. It's beautiful.

My only trouble is that I'm torn between seeking out friends and sitting at home reading.

Quarters

When I was a child a quarter was A LOT of money. Rarely was I fortunate enough to be so "rich". Quarters were my favorite kind of money. They got you more stuff that pennies, nickels, or dimes. I loved how heavy they felt in my hands. Having TWO quarters was almost too much for my young self to handle. I would feel "drunk" with richness. Interestingly enough, quarters are still my favorite coins.

The sad truth is that quarters don't hold the spending power I was once so sure of. Perhaps I should change my desires to align closer to my childhood desires. Maybe I should just go back to longing for giant gumballs.

As I grew into adulthood I learned how to manage money. I established spending habits. In my young adulthood I learned especially how to live on very little.

Now I'm living in the castle that Hubby Guy bought me. When the thought of living in a castle one day came to me I vowed to myself this one thing: I vowed that as I was making the castle my own I would decorate it exactly the way I like without regard for the cost. The truth of me is that I tend toward cheap. I choose function over form.

Hubby Guy is so cool that he gave me a house "budget" that I can use as I wish to fix the castle however I like. Initially the thought was really wild and exciting (especially since I consider the budget to be very generous.. so generous that the amount is best expressed in dollars, not quarters). Now I'm faced with a grim reality. I have chosen to be cheap all these years and dismissed what I really like for so long that I'm not sure what I really like.

Another troubling point is that generally I'm a very organized person. Shopping for house stuff overwhelms me. I had some great help recently. We spent a whole day going from store to store. It helped to have a person that at least knows how to decorate. Even with a trusted helper, though, I felt scattered and overwhelmed.

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but it seems like whenever I have money for whatever I want I either don't want anything or can't decide exactly what I want. When I have no money I want everything and can't have it. I wonder if there's scripture that speaks to that particular issue?  Anyway, I feel like a kid with a whole mason jar full of quarters. I'm positively paralyzed with possibility.

I've decided upon a game plan. I thought I had decided on the same game plan before I moved in but somehow I got distracted. I'm gonna focus on one room at a time. I'm gonna narrow my thinking a bit. I heard somewhere a piece of very applicable wisdom: How do you eat an elephant?.... one bite at a time.

I Have Green Walls, Work Drama, and Bad Hair

I'm kinda scared of the color green. I decided that I wanted 3 walls of the master bedroom to be green. It's a really cool sagey green. I like it but it's gonna need to grow on me :)

I'm still unboxing and arranging but I'm feeling more and more at home.

I've been such a blog slacker. The truth is, though, that had I continued posting regularly ya'll would have asked me to stop it anyway. All I've had on my mind is house stuff.

I need to make an effort to write about some of the other stuff now floating around in my brain now that life is starting to feel normal again.

Let's see....

A different job came up in my office that has more hours and has full benefits. Currently I have no benefits. I still turned the job down. For the first time in my life, my life circumstances don't require that I work. I do work because I need to get out of the house. The extra cash is also a good thing. BUT.... all this has made me think back to those times in my life where my life depended on my employment. Back then the only thing that mattered was the more money part. Now I get to choose.

When I was looking for the job I currently have the thing that was MOST important to me was the circumstance. I wanted a part time job that would allow me to have afternoons free for my children. I wanted to do something that required very little actual brain power. I wanted the work to be somewhat interesting. The job I have is EXACTLY that! And... the very best part.... I LOVE the people I work with!! Our side of the office is awesome. There's a big difference in having a good working relationship with your coworkers and actually liking your coworkers as people. It's summertime so 2 of the three people I work directly with are out of the office. I miss them a lot. I can't wait for school to start just so I can see them regularly again. But at the same time, I feel like this summer has really been a good one as far as proving myself and showing what I'm capable of to the one coworker who is still around. To me that has been spectacular. It's taken 2 1/2 years in my current job to finally feel like I am actually part of the team. It will take more than the lure of money to make me leave my current position. Had I taken the other job I wouldn't have even moved out of the office suite but my circumstance would change greatly. Environment is everything and in my opinion it would STINK to work on the other side of the office. The personalities over there are "interesting" to put it nicely and I want no part of it.

In other news.....

I'm struggling through a bad hair cut. My stylist decided it would be cool to razor cut my hair. My hair didn't respond well. I went back to get it scissor cut but my hair is still mad. It's all split and nasty. I want to wear a ball cap every day. It's embarrassing.

And....

Actually I'm tired of staring at the computer screen. I have more but I'll save it for another day.