Are You Kidding Me???

I wrote 2 different blogs just now and erased both of them.

I have SO MUCH on my heart and mind. It's all good stuff.

Last weekend I was introduced to a concept by Beth Moore (God's instrument if there ever was one). The other 2 blogs were my attempts to summarize what I heard. It can't be done.

One of my favorite parts of life as a Christian is being able to spot God's golden thread that I believe links us to one another and to Him. I went to lunch today with a friend of mine. We chatted about all kinds of stuff. I left there so "high on Christ" that I couldn't stop smiling and praising Him.

I went walking with another of my friends this week. I was sharing with her about how I used to feel really solid about my "giftedness" and how I fit in "The Kingdom". Then at some point I began to question all of that. I felt suddenly ineffective and of no value.

Beth talked about God's grace last weekend. She came at it from an odd perspective. She spoke mostly about making a choice between standing under the law or standing under grace. It absolutely shook my foundations. I will shamefully admit that I'm much more comfortable standing under the law because I'm good at legalism. I know what that life is supposed to look like. I'm not sure I know how to just be loved by God without offering my filthy-rags righteousness to Him.

The analogy that came to mind last weekend was that of an injured animal. The animal is captured and taken care of with the intent to set it free. Oftentimes when the caregivers try to release those animals they seem to not want to leave. They have to be jolted to be reminded of what they are. They have to be reminded that they are free to go be what they were created to be.  I feel like I've been in captivity to "lawful living". Though I get that I need to stand under God's grace... I can't fully grasp what that means. Right now I feel like the animal that has been released but is just unsure what to do.

She talked also about "obedient faith". She DID NOT say go live like the world.  I spotted the golden thread Sunday morning when the Pastor Guy at church stood up there and took up right where Beth left off. Collectively, the chins of my girlfriends and I that went hit the floor. Our Pastor Guy had no idea what she talked about. Anyway.. he talked about freedom from the law and what that looks like. He also addressed "obedient faith".  

WUT?! FOR REALZ!!!

What really makes it all crazy to me is that, while we were waiting in line to get into the arena on Saturday, Romans 6:1 just came up in conversation. We were not believing that Beth started right there. And then for Pastor Guy to drive it home... Let me tell ya.... He has my attention.

All week random thoughts from the past year about "how I fit" came flooding back. Conversations that I've had all week have brought all the puzzle pieces to the table. And oh how I love a puzzle!

I feel like I've been reminded of "how I fit". Now I'm working on what to do with that. Oh how I want to run back under the law. This has been my thought all week:   If I choose to remain in captivity, to not claim the freedom that came with my salvation, to stand under the law...... I CANNOT fulfill God's calling on me. God's calling requires HIS supernatural provision that I can only find when I'm standing under grace.   **Mind Blown**