I've decided that without a doubt this concept of standing under grace has caused the single biggest shift of how I live out my faith EVER... like in my entire walk with Christ! I never grasped how fully enslaved to the law I was living.
I got my first pair of glasses when I was 2. Trauma to my head during the process of being born caused damage to my vision. Anyway... every couple of years I had to go back to the eye doctor to make sure I was wearing the correct strength of lenses for my growing eyeballs. I always dreaded that appointment. I really don't know how many times my prescription changed. I didn't keep a tally. What I can tell you is that I hated getting new lenses. I remember clearly leaving the Optical Shop with new glasses. They always felt awkward on my face and more often than not were really blurry until I got used to them.
I feel as if I'm looking at life now through a new lens of grace. I gotta say... it's different. It is a little blurry. I'm not used to it yet. I feel somewhat self-conscious. I feel, though, like it will ultimately provide me the clarity that I have been seeking for a while now.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Sunday, September 29, 2013
On Brain Wringage
So... it's fall again. And, as usual, my creativity has peaked. I say every year that I don't know what it is about fall that loosens all of my pent up thoughts. Well, people, they've been loosed.
I've heard several times from songwriters being interviewed that an idea or a melody will come to them and they find themselves scribbling thoughts on napkins, etc. I had one of those really awkward moments this morning in church where my brain began wringing itself out and I quickly had to catch all the thoughts on paper. My hubby guy kept looking over like perhaps I was writing something for him because we are prone to pass notes in church (we're bad, I know). At any rate, I managed to fill up an entire sheet with brain drippings.
I said in a my last post that I feel like a caged animal that has been released. I spoke there about those animals needing a jolt to remind them of what they are and that they are free to be what they are created to be. In the past couple of weeks I do feel like God has "kicked my cage". I can think of four specific conversations with friends where God spoke into my heart.
A song came to mind by Jason Gray called Remind Me Who I Am. There's a line that says "In the loneliest places, when I can't remember what grace is, Tell me once again who I am to You". I feel like HE has. And, I remember that I really like who I am. I find it very sad that I allow myself to get caught in "stinkin' thinkin" and start to believe that I'm somehow less than and that God can't use me. I know better.
As I sit here and I look at the paper from church this morning with the greasy brain drippings, I realize the thoughts, though related, aren't necessarily sequential or cohesive. So, I will use them to craft a few different posts. Yay! Blog inspiration.
I've heard several times from songwriters being interviewed that an idea or a melody will come to them and they find themselves scribbling thoughts on napkins, etc. I had one of those really awkward moments this morning in church where my brain began wringing itself out and I quickly had to catch all the thoughts on paper. My hubby guy kept looking over like perhaps I was writing something for him because we are prone to pass notes in church (we're bad, I know). At any rate, I managed to fill up an entire sheet with brain drippings.
I said in a my last post that I feel like a caged animal that has been released. I spoke there about those animals needing a jolt to remind them of what they are and that they are free to be what they are created to be. In the past couple of weeks I do feel like God has "kicked my cage". I can think of four specific conversations with friends where God spoke into my heart.
A song came to mind by Jason Gray called Remind Me Who I Am. There's a line that says "In the loneliest places, when I can't remember what grace is, Tell me once again who I am to You". I feel like HE has. And, I remember that I really like who I am. I find it very sad that I allow myself to get caught in "stinkin' thinkin" and start to believe that I'm somehow less than and that God can't use me. I know better.
As I sit here and I look at the paper from church this morning with the greasy brain drippings, I realize the thoughts, though related, aren't necessarily sequential or cohesive. So, I will use them to craft a few different posts. Yay! Blog inspiration.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Are You Kidding Me???
I wrote 2 different blogs just now and erased both of them.
I have SO MUCH on my heart and mind. It's all good stuff.
Last weekend I was introduced to a concept by Beth Moore (God's instrument if there ever was one). The other 2 blogs were my attempts to summarize what I heard. It can't be done.
One of my favorite parts of life as a Christian is being able to spot God's golden thread that I believe links us to one another and to Him. I went to lunch today with a friend of mine. We chatted about all kinds of stuff. I left there so "high on Christ" that I couldn't stop smiling and praising Him.
I went walking with another of my friends this week. I was sharing with her about how I used to feel really solid about my "giftedness" and how I fit in "The Kingdom". Then at some point I began to question all of that. I felt suddenly ineffective and of no value.
Beth talked about God's grace last weekend. She came at it from an odd perspective. She spoke mostly about making a choice between standing under the law or standing under grace. It absolutely shook my foundations. I will shamefully admit that I'm much more comfortable standing under the law because I'm good at legalism. I know what that life is supposed to look like. I'm not sure I know how to just be loved by God without offering my filthy-rags righteousness to Him.
The analogy that came to mind last weekend was that of an injured animal. The animal is captured and taken care of with the intent to set it free. Oftentimes when the caregivers try to release those animals they seem to not want to leave. They have to be jolted to be reminded of what they are. They have to be reminded that they are free to go be what they were created to be. I feel like I've been in captivity to "lawful living". Though I get that I need to stand under God's grace... I can't fully grasp what that means. Right now I feel like the animal that has been released but is just unsure what to do.
She talked also about "obedient faith". She DID NOT say go live like the world. I spotted the golden thread Sunday morning when the Pastor Guy at church stood up there and took up right where Beth left off. Collectively, the chins of my girlfriends and I that went hit the floor. Our Pastor Guy had no idea what she talked about. Anyway.. he talked about freedom from the law and what that looks like. He also addressed "obedient faith".
WUT?! FOR REALZ!!!
What really makes it all crazy to me is that, while we were waiting in line to get into the arena on Saturday, Romans 6:1 just came up in conversation. We were not believing that Beth started right there. And then for Pastor Guy to drive it home... Let me tell ya.... He has my attention.
All week random thoughts from the past year about "how I fit" came flooding back. Conversations that I've had all week have brought all the puzzle pieces to the table. And oh how I love a puzzle!
I feel like I've been reminded of "how I fit". Now I'm working on what to do with that. Oh how I want to run back under the law. This has been my thought all week: If I choose to remain in captivity, to not claim the freedom that came with my salvation, to stand under the law...... I CANNOT fulfill God's calling on me. God's calling requires HIS supernatural provision that I can only find when I'm standing under grace. **Mind Blown**
I have SO MUCH on my heart and mind. It's all good stuff.
Last weekend I was introduced to a concept by Beth Moore (God's instrument if there ever was one). The other 2 blogs were my attempts to summarize what I heard. It can't be done.
One of my favorite parts of life as a Christian is being able to spot God's golden thread that I believe links us to one another and to Him. I went to lunch today with a friend of mine. We chatted about all kinds of stuff. I left there so "high on Christ" that I couldn't stop smiling and praising Him.
I went walking with another of my friends this week. I was sharing with her about how I used to feel really solid about my "giftedness" and how I fit in "The Kingdom". Then at some point I began to question all of that. I felt suddenly ineffective and of no value.
Beth talked about God's grace last weekend. She came at it from an odd perspective. She spoke mostly about making a choice between standing under the law or standing under grace. It absolutely shook my foundations. I will shamefully admit that I'm much more comfortable standing under the law because I'm good at legalism. I know what that life is supposed to look like. I'm not sure I know how to just be loved by God without offering my filthy-rags righteousness to Him.
The analogy that came to mind last weekend was that of an injured animal. The animal is captured and taken care of with the intent to set it free. Oftentimes when the caregivers try to release those animals they seem to not want to leave. They have to be jolted to be reminded of what they are. They have to be reminded that they are free to go be what they were created to be. I feel like I've been in captivity to "lawful living". Though I get that I need to stand under God's grace... I can't fully grasp what that means. Right now I feel like the animal that has been released but is just unsure what to do.
She talked also about "obedient faith". She DID NOT say go live like the world. I spotted the golden thread Sunday morning when the Pastor Guy at church stood up there and took up right where Beth left off. Collectively, the chins of my girlfriends and I that went hit the floor. Our Pastor Guy had no idea what she talked about. Anyway.. he talked about freedom from the law and what that looks like. He also addressed "obedient faith".
WUT?! FOR REALZ!!!
What really makes it all crazy to me is that, while we were waiting in line to get into the arena on Saturday, Romans 6:1 just came up in conversation. We were not believing that Beth started right there. And then for Pastor Guy to drive it home... Let me tell ya.... He has my attention.
All week random thoughts from the past year about "how I fit" came flooding back. Conversations that I've had all week have brought all the puzzle pieces to the table. And oh how I love a puzzle!
I feel like I've been reminded of "how I fit". Now I'm working on what to do with that. Oh how I want to run back under the law. This has been my thought all week: If I choose to remain in captivity, to not claim the freedom that came with my salvation, to stand under the law...... I CANNOT fulfill God's calling on me. God's calling requires HIS supernatural provision that I can only find when I'm standing under grace. **Mind Blown**
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