Friday, December 13, 2013

On What Makes Me Happy

I've been asked this question more than once: What makes you happy?  I've never had a real answer. My first thought usually is puppy breath, kittens, Chef Boyardee Ravioli, green Super Bubble, and animals in general (especially baby ones). I've never been proud of that answer. Those are all things that I like very much, but they are all superficial.

Today I'm happy...actually happy....spring in my step happy. Earlier I was pondering why. I've come up with a deeper answer to the happiness question. It's this...Seeing evidence that hard work and patience on my part hasn't been in vain makes me extremely happy. Unfortunately, this type of happiness, by it's very nature, is hard to come by. It's hard fought. I consider myself a pretty patient person. Honestly, though, I struggle while waiting. I second guess myself. I wonder, sometimes, if I've made the right choices. When in the midst of all of that second guessing, I forget regularly that there may actually be light on the other side.... that I could be headed for some serious lasting happiness. It has occurred to me that too often I accept superficial, instant gratification type things as happiness. I've been guilty of wondering about what's reasonable to expect from life. I've not ever expected much happiness. I guess that's why I have settled for the superficial. I'm not sure I've ever felt deserving of anything more than brief, surface happiness.





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