Are We Moved Yet?

I'm having an out of life experience.

I've lost track of time. I don't know what day it is.

I have a job but haven't gone in a week and a half. That feels weird! ** I worked a months worth of time in two weeks and so these two weeks I worked in advance. Since I'm part time I can do crazy things like that as long as I get done what needs to be done.**

I kinda look forward to getting back to life. It will be a good thing indeed when we finally get moved. It's getting done. It's just happening a load at a time with lots of painting in between. I was thinking today that it's a cool way to move. I don't mind. It's just odd to be between two houses. We're at the point now that most everything is at the new house except the stuff we use daily.

We'll be done moving monday and then the unpacking process will begin. I look forward to that.

I also look forward to checking back in to life. :)

Observation About Myself

I enjoy unpacking boxes MUCH more than packing them. I'm exhausted and I'm not even halfway through the kitchen.

BUT... it'll all be worth it when I'm chillin' in my new castle. :)  We close thursday.

...And I'm Crazy!

I'm waiting for something to finish printing. Yes, I'm at work. ** Don't judge me**  Anyway... I was looking out the window and randomly started snapping the tune to the Lone Ranger. (I spend lots of alone time at work, so no, there was no audience) It's kind of a mixture of snapping my fingers and clapping my hands. You may have seen it demonstrated before.  It occurred to me that snapping and clapping the tune to the Lone Ranger is kind of a silly thing for an adult person to be doing. I got tickled at myself.  I decided I'd share with you this odd moment in my day.  Don't ya just feel blessed that I'm such a goober? :)

On Human Foibles & Listening to God

Something I know about myself is that in order to be really effective in whatever I choose to do that I need to feel connected to the people with whom I serve. I need to feel a part of a family. I need to feel like a necessary part of the team. When that is threatened it shakes my core. It's a foothold for satan and I know it.

I'm involved with a ministry at church. It's something that I actually feel led to be a part of. BUT... I'm not connected at all. I have almost walked away more than once for the above stated reason. For some reason I can't. In the meantime, big things happen and I'm left out. An important thing happened this weekend. It's something that as a worker in the ministry I should have been a part of. I was excluded. I walked away from sunday school this morning feeling really disenfranchised. I'm hurt. I'm frustrated and the carnal side of me wants very much to walk away.

BUT... In the service this morning Pastor Guy was talking about the value of integrity. It's something that's very important to me. As I sat there nursing my wounds, I really appreciated what he was talking about. He defined integrity as remaining true to your convictions regardless of what it costs you. The truth of my situation is this: I do feel called to the particular ministry. I don't do it for people. I do it for God.  He referenced Colossians 3:23: 

²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. (NIV)

That's  how I feel about this. It's a matter of my heart. I have committed to the ministry. The important thing is that I follow my convictions without regard for the foibles of others. I don't know why sometimes it's so very hard to extend grace. It find it so much easier to just remove myself from a situation than to behave like a mature Christian. Why must my sinful side be so darn...sinful?


It was cool though, before Pastor Guy even started his sermon I feel like God gave me a little bit of encouragement. Another worker had approached me about doing something this summer for the ministry that is right up my alley. We haven't had an opportunity to talk more about it and I had begun to wonder if she meant it or if it would happen. She approached me again and we're gonna get together this week to talk more about it and do some planning. It was a well timed conversation and I do believe it was a "Holy Hug" meant to say "It's gonna be ok".

To Win or Not To Win

I was talking to my oldest today. **Fancy that**   I don't know how we got on the topic but I asked her if she enjoys competition. I had never stopped to consider whether or not she's a competitive person. The truth is she's not. I came to that conclusion pretty quick and she verified it. She likes to participate but doesn't really care all that much about winning.

My youngest child is definitely competitive. EVERYTHING is a competition... who finishes eating first, who buckles their seat belt first, etc. It drives me nuts. BUT.... I can understand that mindset. I am a VERY competitive person. I'm so competitive that I go to the extreme and rarely if ever do anything that I'm not good at. New things are practically paralyzing because of my fear of failure. I consider not being extremely good at something failure.

It occurred to me today that I may be taking the wrong approach to parenting my oldest. I need to get a grasp on what motivates her. I tend toward pushing her to succeed at whatever and actually work to be the best at whatever she's doing. If she doesn't care to be good at stuff then it doesn't do me any good to push her. I'm not saying she should do less than her best, but that she might do better if I would just lay off and let her find her own way through stuff.   I had this "ah-ha" moment when I asked her if she was interested in doing swim practice two-a-days. She has that opportunity and I think it's awesome! I was at the gym every time they'd let me when I was competing. Extra practices were better than gold.  I wanted perfection. I strived for perfection. Dominating the competition was my reward and it felt REALLY good to win. She wasn't interested. The simple fact of my oldest is that competition holds no reward for her. That isn't the way she works.

I'm left with the question.... if you aren't motivated by winning, what else is there?

If I had to pick one thing...

If I had to pick a hobby and completely surrender myself to it..... it would be photography. Here are some of my favorites from today. I went to the National Zoo with the first graders.

It's Official!

So...... FINALLY..... the adoption is final. Hubby Guy and I are now the proud legal parents of 2 bouncing not-so-baby girls. The final orders were signed last thursday. We found out today because our lawyer is a LOSER! Anyway... we're glad it's over.

Here's a picture from 2 years and 3 months ago. This picture was taken the day after the girls came to live with us. You can say what you want about the difficulties of physical pregnancy, but this emotional pregnancy has been long and tedious and I dare say far more difficult than having kids the traditional way.

It's kinda cool.... last week I ordered Hubby Guy a T-shirt that says "(Oldest Kid)'s Dad.... Feelin' lucky, Punk". It came today in the mail... the same day we found out the adoption was final. How cool is that?