On Faith (Part 1)

This weekend I went to a Living Proof Live event. Beth Moore is the speaker at these events. In my opinion, LPL is the best event available for women who want a Word from the Lord without all the hype and infomercials that other events of it's nature come with. Beth Moore is a dynamic speaker and I have found more often than not that we set off in a direction and you think you know what's going down and then out-of-the-blue the holy spirit launches a sneak attack. That is exactly what happened to me on Saturday.

Last year we went to an event in Baltimore, MD. I was the trip planner and several things happened that tilted my slight OCD brain. Unfortunately, I didn't hear a word she said all weekend. The enemy successfully hijacked my thoughts and had me mentally careening back and forth between anger and feelings of complete inadequacy. I was the trip planner again this year and made a pretty rock solid itinerary that warded off any of the bobbles that happened last year. Moreover, I traveled this year looking for a Word from the Lord and was dedicated to not becoming side tracked. I'm pleased to report a successful mission.

As I write this post I am not completely convinced that I will publish it. I do, however, need desperately to try and organize my thoughts about the things that happened and what I heard over the weekend.

First of all, 11 women went on this trip from our church of  less than 300. I don't really know how many members our church has. Typical adult attendance on Sunday is somewhere just south of 200 on a  really good day. I found that spectacular. There would have been several more but there was another fun thing on the same weekend and unfortunately you can't be in two places at once. I don't know that in the 10 year history of the church there has been a women's trip so well attended. So Yay!

The event date we chose was a one day only event. We decided to make 2 days of it because there was a several hour drive to get to the venue. So we set out on friday morning armed with an air-tight itinerary. Our first stop was a couple hours out at a mall for lunch. I include this is my recalling of the story because it's the first place something wonderful happened.  We gathered food from our preferred establishments then rendezvoused in the middle of the food court to dine together. Interestingly enough, I chose a food court because I wanted to please as many as I could and figured everyone could go their own way, eat together, not eat together, or whatever. I chose the path of least resistance. What happened was magical. We all sat together to eat and chat. That in itself wasn't really magical but what it led to was. The conversation twisted and turned a bit but ended with us laughing really hard such that attention was drawn from all over the food court. We were even approached by a sweet older woman who teasingly told us to keep it down. I felt like that conversation really set us off on the journey together. The funny knit us together from the beginning and I felt like that was really important because we were a somewhat diverse group and a group that doesn't generally hang out together. I won't describe the rest of that day but it was spectacular and filled with several more golden bonding moments.

I've decided now to split this into more than one post. I'm feeling wordy and feel like I need to break it down. And, I've decided to post my experience and hope not to bore you to death. (All 2 of you who read this)

"Oh My Goodness, Oh My Goodness!!!"

This afternoon I talked to my favorite gymnastics coach EVER.

For years I've been searching for my gymnastics coach. When I survey my life and identify people that made a big difference in my life, she is on that list. I loved her so much. I lost track of her though.

Every couple years I earnestly search again. Yesterday I popped open Facebook, typed in her name, and there she was!!!!! I could hardly believe my eyes.

Earlier today she messaged me her number. So this afternoon we actually spoke on the phone. I'm on cloud 9.

You can say what you want about Facebook. Today, though, I'm in love. Without that particular social pile I still wouldn't have talked to someone who I've been missing.

I've heard the expression before that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. The trouble I have with that statement is this: Sometimes people that are there for a reason or a season make lifetime impressions on us. When that impression is a positive one I hate that contact isn't ongoing.

I've said all along that I wish that I could just have my own island. The inhabitants of the island would be there by invitation only. Anna would ABSOLUTELY be there.

On Being Emotionally Bloody

Ick!!! The thing I hate most in the world is being hurt by people I love.

Why must relationships be so slippery?

This morning I got stabbed in the heart by someone I love. They have NO IDEA they hurt me at all. So here I sit....emotionally bloody.

I realize that over analyzing anything can be dangerous. I just can't help myself. Moreover, I can't tell a soul what actually happened, not even the bloggiverse. I don't want to hear the echoing I-told-you-so's.

That stinks!

On Feeling Loved

I was thinking today....imagine that.....time to sit and think. Sundays often afford me that luxury.  Anyway, I was thinking about a movie I saw recently. The actress does something in the movie that touches me every time I see the movie *one of my favorites*. That thought spun into me thinking about many people who are special to me.

I was considering what it is for me that shows me I'm loved by others. I'm not necessarily talking about love languages. I was thinking more about what attributes communicate non-verbally what I need to hear from people. I think the reason that scene in the movie gets to me is because it's exactly what I want from people.

Many years ago I was living with a family who loved on me and made me a part of them. One day I was playing with my little sisters. We had made chicken wings, beaks, and birdie feet to wear whilst performing our favorite song "The Chicken Dance". I took a picture of the two cute little girls doing the chicken dance. It's one of my favorite pictures for a couple of reasons. One reason is because those two girls are and have always been special to me and I love them dearly. The other reason is because in the background their mother is sitting on the couch looking at the scene smiling. The look in her eyes touches me every time I see that picture.

The movie I'm talking about is The Blind Side. There is a scene in the movie where Leigh Anne (Sandra Bullock) goes looking for Michael. When she finds him she gets out of the car. The look in her eyes says SO MUCH. The best way I can decribe it is a gaze that you feel in your heart. It's the same look that the girl's mom has in the picture I referenced before.

I want to see in a person's eyes that they mean me no harm. I want to see on their face that I'm special in their book. I want them to look at me with a gaze that I can feel in my heart. I can honestly say that I'm fortunate enough to have people in my life that I feel give me that. It was a very warm-fuzzy realization.

The next thought I had was how COOL it will be for Jesus to look at me like that. As if simply being with Him wouldn't be enough to level me.... I'll melt a million ways. That's a really warm-fuzzy thought.

I'll end with this thought. If  I'm to be the Jesus others see then I want want to look at people like that. I want them to see His love in my eyes. I laugh because I'm not known for having a pleasant look on my face. What I do know, however, is that I'm a work in progress.

 

On Thawing Out Relationships

In the days before the internet and social media, my circle was pretty much limited to the people in my immediate area. As a person who has moved around a decent amount, that left pockets of people here and there that I pretty much lost contact with. Those people became "frozen" in my head. Those people never aged, moved, or changed interests. In my head, they remained right where I left them.

The thing I appreciate the most about Facebook is being able to see my friends' photos. It ushers them back into my mental timeline. It has provided me with a visual reminder of how full my life has been. I love that I can semi-tangibly keep certain people in my life.

If I could have one supernatural wish, it would be that we could travel at light-speed such that even though people live far apart we could visit regularly. That way really close relationships wouldn't be bound by time and geography. I could warp down to Georgia and hang out with my friends Cindy and Stacy. I would hope over to Alabama and hang out with blog friends Jennifer and Jamie because I'm certain that in real life (outside the internet) we would be great friends. I could keep closer tabs on family in Mississippi, Arizona, Colorado, and Florida. It would be awesome. 

Mid Blink Idea

I blogged about it being time to blink.  I'm at mid blink now. I have a month and a half left of gymnastics.
I had a really great idea today. It isn't even gymnastics related. That surprised me because my thoughts are so saturated with who needs to add what skills to what routines to up our routine values.

I'm not ready to reveal the idea yet. BUT... it's awesome and I can't wait until spring.

Um...yeah

I'm turning into my children.
My oldest started the habit of filling in the end of any story or thought with "um..yeah". This phenomenon just leaves the hearer to fill in the blanks.

Slowly the rest of the household is catching on.

The little one does it.

Now, apparently, I do it.

I was thinking about something to blog and I ...um, yeah.  It leaves much to be desired. :/