Because I'm Concerned......

Is it wrong of me to be excited about stealing from the candy buckets of my children who are gonna walk/run through neighborhoods at a feverish pace for hours to get it?

They always get such good stuff!

Their teeth don't need the sugar. I mean all that candy isn't healthy for the kids, right?

Because I am the BEST mom, I will take one for the team and help them with things like Skittles (bad) and M&M's (indeed very, very bad) so their health will not be affected by this particular holiday. And if they were to acquire Reese's cups or Twix bars, because I love them I will fall on my sword (so-to-speak) and help them through the health crisis by eliminating the dangers.

It's my duty, after all, because I'm the BEST mom.

Ok.... I'm Excited!

We signed the adoption papers today.

The iceberg of indifference and pessimism I've turned into over the past 18 months is beginning to melt.

My girlies are, well..... mine. *** Happy Dance***

On Disordered Eating

I'm having a very transparent moment. If you can't handle raw truth concerning me, stop reading.

Throughout my life I've had an "ism". I have a very, very hard time eating in certain environments. When I was younger I really couldn't eat at all in public with the exception being in a restaurant with my family. Buffet lines/cafeterias were completely out of the question regardless of who I was with.

Fortunately I've gotten past the worst of the "ism". I still struggle though. I still just can't bring myself to eat in environments where I'm not completely comfortable. I come unglued. For instance.. The program I work for is having an event today. I was invited over for lunch. I just can't. It would take far too long to explain why. I can just tell you that the thought of going back over there for lunch makes me want to cry. Fortunately, I work for an amazing person who is gracious and aware of my "ism". She will understand if I don't come. No one else will even care that I'm not there. It's frustrating though to be an adult and have to deal with such a stupid "ism". It drives me nuts that I haven't completely overcome it.

I've been thinking lately about my "ism" because I've been faithfully working out again. It's strange what working out makes me think in my head. I spoke before about being "addicted" to exercise. The truth is that regular exercise rares the head of my "ism" as they are connected. I've really had to keep myself in check. I have those ugly thoughts of working out for 2 hours a day and eating precious little. I HAVE NOT acted on that. I'm just admitting that I've thought about it. The truth is that I don't have time to live like that at this phase of my life.

We all have our burdens. Now you know mine!

Adoption

We had the first meeting yesterday about adoption.

It's actually gonna happen!

We sign adoption placement orders on Monday.

I think I've said all these things before. You'll just have to bear with me. This process has been "hellish". There's so much to it ya'll. I really should write the whole story down. Honestly, though, I just want to get past it.

Underneath

Underneath all the day to day lives a person I once knew.

She was smart and had her whole life in front of her. She was an athlete. She had time for the sweet details. She communicated with her friends in a real and honest way. She was also super creative.

I've seen glimpses lately of the person I was when I was younger. I'm trying to reclaim the good parts. I think it can happen.

Truthfully, I love who I am now. I'm not complaining. It's just that somewhere along the way a part of me went missing.

For a long time I feel like I've been a totally different person. I think I've decided that I just changed appropriately for my age and stage of life. It's good to be able to reclaim some of the lightness and creativity of my youth.

Icky, Icky.. A Bunch of Sickies!

The cosmos is runnin' a special....

3 for the price of one influenza!! (Fortunately it isn't the pig sickness... just the regular kind)

I am the holdout. I refuse to succumb to the illness that has my family in its clenches.

My boss offered me her guest room.

I have a theory. I've been working out a lot lately. My system is primed. They say regular exercise can help your body fight off illness. If I ultimately get the flu I'll eat those words, but here's hoping!

I'm no Siskel & Ebert......

Saw another movie today.... and if I could convert all my fingers and toes to thumbs I would give the movie a huge 20 thumbs down.

We saw "Where The Wild Things Are". I am so very disappointed. Even if I had rented it for a buck out of the Walmart vending machine I would still have hated it.

They destroyed the story. It had so much possibility. It could have been so lighthearted. Nope!

I kept thinking throughout the movie that the person who wrote the screenplay got really high and read the book and translated it into a film from a drug induced state. The movie was depressing and dark from beginning to end. It's now been 5 hours since we left the theater and I'm still bothered by what I saw.

It's a stinker, ya'll. Don't waste your money.